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male
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*hredordie
writes: I posted this about this before, but my ex (who I love) is still contacting me. We start back up at college in a few weeks and I know I'll be seeing her. She had originally broken up with me and is now seeing someone else, who she started seeing right after she broke up with me. I told her we should stop talking, but she had sent me an instant message a couple of weeks ago and has now sent me a couple more. We spoke briefly the first time and caught up on things, but the second two times I gave her some excuses as to why I couldn't talk. I said that I had to run both times, which was true, but I could haved talked for a few minutes.Each time she was saying hi, what's up, and she was wondering if I could help her out with her guitar playing. When I said that I had to run both times, she says oh ok, you're such a social butterfly, or something along those lines, and we said we'd talk later. I want to tell her to stop, but I also want to keep talking to her as I feel we have great chemistry and that there is a chance later on.If you want to read more on the situation, here is my last post: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/she-still-contacts-me-even-now.htmlThanks for all the help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2006): I agree with camille. she isn't being fair to you as you are still in love with her. i can relate, as i too was in a relationship for 2 years and truly loved him. We broke up about 9 months ago but still kept in touch - only thing was we kept going round in circles in the respect that we always ended back in bed together because the chemistry was still there and our parting hadnt been because we didnt love each other but for other reasons. Like you i told him no more contact but then 3 weeks later he was sending me messages and confusing me - telling me he still loved me which really didnt help matters because I only ever got my hopes up to be let down again with all the reasons why we broke up in the first place. It took me alot of strength to do it but eventually I told him no more contact - I deleted him from my phone and from msn. I had finally realised i was being held back, just a little bit, from moving on with my life especially having someone who I really like now on the scene. You obviously care and love her deeply and it will be harder for you as you will see her at college but you have to be strong. Like camille says, if it was meant to be, it would be. Try and move on with your life - Good luck, i know its not easy x
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female
reader, camille  +, writes (14 August 2006):
 I confess that i haven't read your other post but this is a common situation but grossly unfair. Maybe she thinks you'd be better off friends than in a relationship but that's only what SHE thinks. You clearly can't go along with that theory as you love her. There's no point trying to be friends with someone you're in love with, especially if they are with someone else. It seems she's getting everything her way and your needs are being ignored. Be straight with her and tell her you do not wish to be in contact with her as she's your ex. Maybe you do have chemistry but do you really want to be waiting in the wings just in case you MAY have a chance in the future? Get on with your life. If you were meant to be together, you would be. If you are meant to be together, you will be, but not whilst you're in turmoil. Make a clean break, why should she get what she wants at your expense.
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