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female
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anonymous
writes: Dear CupidI was in a relationship for 6 years since high school with a smart and beautiful girl. About 4 months ago, I felt like things were going downhill. The sex wasn’t like it used to be, and I found myself interested in other women, so I decided to break up with her. We didn’t talk for 3 months, then we started hanging out again. Slowly we became intimate again and the sex was great, even though she would constantly remind me that we were no longer "going out". I slowly felt like I was falling back in love with her but was in denial. Suddenly she stopped wanting to hang out as much, and when we did there was no sex involved.. I realised what a dumbass I was for ever breaking up with her and decided to tell her how I felt, and that I truly loved her, felt that she was the one, and wanted her back by leaving flowers and taking her out to nice places for dinner. Unfortunately she said she only wanted to remain friends, but deep down I can tell she still loves me deeply.. Even though its my fault, I still feel utterly ruined.. I can’t stop thinking about her, and find myself obsessively trying to hatch plans to win her back.. Problem is, since I broke her heart she was forced to make other life plans like moving far away to her brothe’rs within a couple months.. Is their any hope for me?? How can I win her love back and let her know I wanna take the next step and get an apartment with her without seeming desperate? It seems the more I want her back the less she’s interested.. What can I do??
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female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (28 December 2005):
 Hi dearie, if u really love this girl and u are sure this time then u have to go all out and tell her. Tell her everything here that u have realise she is the woman for u and u would like her to move in with u. only if u r sure u wont hurt her again then tell her this. Take the risk what do u have to loose anyway.
If after telling her she still says she wants to be friend then u just do that and be there for her. she is probably just too scared to let u in her heart again it seems u did hurt her pretty bad.
All the best dear.
A
female
reader, Tinkz  +, writes (28 December 2005):
 Breaking a heart is not an easy thing to undo.
She's probably afraid you will hurt her again, but can you blame her? 6 Years is a long time to just give up without even trying to see where the problem was.
Your sexual relatioship shows that there was/is still feelings there and when she stopped sleeping with you it's most likely that she started feeling insecure that you may hurt her and/or she realised that her feelings were surfacing again.
Give her space, be there for her when she needs you, don't try to hard, but don't make her think that you not interested. You have to regain her trust and that takes time.
If she means that much to you, give her all the time she needs.
Or better yet ask her to move in with you if you feel you ready and see what happens
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