A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a problem and would like some advise on this. Well I'm 26 and I got pregnant really quick to a guy at work. I didn't like him to begin with but he won me round and then kept leaving me and coming back when I was pregnant and after baby was born I've just learnt he's a compulsive liar and the lies were always mentally abusive and emotional. He kept coming and saying he loves me and that he wants me back then we have sex and he goes first thing. How can he lie like this? I want to break free from him. How can I get this guy out of my head and not think of him constantly? Please help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the advise. I can't believe I've put myself in this situation. Its so hard to accept that my sons dad is this way. All I've wanted from the very beginning was the truth and to be honest. He can't give me that, the lies hurt more than the truth. He's carried on like this for six months I've felt like I've been in limbo that whole time. I feel like I'm breaking free now you are right this isn't fair to put my son in that situation. I've wanted to hear the truth for so long from him and he can't say it. I've felt like I couldn't break free or move on unless I knew the truth. My mum has helped me and she told me not to take him back the first time he walked away telling me he would do it again. I guess just wanted to proved her wrong. I guess the sayings true mum knows best. X
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2011): Do you think he keeps coming around so you won't put him on the hook for child support? Get your legal ducks in a row by setting up child support payments and custody for YOUR BABY and then you can worry about why he just pops in for a quickie.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2011): I'm going to quote your own words straight back at you, because the answer is already there:"He kept coming and saying he loves me and that he wants me back then we have sex and he goes first thing"He is a liar, he is a user. He will never bring happiness or stability to your life, but more important than that HE WILL BRING NOTHING BUT MISERY TO YOUR CHILD'S LIFE TOO.How do you get rid of him? You tell him to go and to never come back and YOU MEAN IT! Change your phone number and your mobile number. If he shows up at your home don't let him in. If he causes a disturbance call the police.What do your family think of this guy? Will they support you to keep him out of your life.This is about more than you. Any misery this man brings into your life will be ten times worse for your child.He has a right to see his child, but let him pursue this through the courts (I seriously doubt he will bother). When visitation has been agreed arrange for it to happen in a neutral place, i.e., not at your home or his home. He has a legal obligation to financially support his child, so you must pursue that.Harden your heart, think of your child, think of all the good things you could bring into your child's life, and your own life, if this man isn't around.Keep strong.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2011): If initially you didnt like him and now hes just lying to you and using you for sex. What exactly is it you like about him so much that you are giving him so much thought? Hes just a user and if you hadnt got pregnant he would probably have exited your life long ago. Its unfortunate that hes not a nice person but for the sake of your child you have to have some form of contact. That needn't mean sleeping with him anymore now that you know what hes really like. It sounds as if you have formed some sort of attachment for him but that might just be because he is your childs father not because you love him. Whatever this bond is, it just isnt there on his part. You will only stop thinking about him and move on when you are ready to do so. You have spent probably too much time thinking about him already, so making yourself move on now might be a good idea. Most of us have come up against people that use us and lie. The trick is accept that some people are just WRONG and you cant fix that or them. Then learn from the experience and move on as quickly as possible. The less time giving them 'head room' the sooner you will recover x
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