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*ostinlove
writes: Hi people, just want to thank you for your advice, I posted a question back in early march about my bf breaking up with me in january and that i had planned to propose in las vegas when he went to visit the star trek experience. Unfortunately we havent got back together he has found someone else and they have been together for just over a week now, they seem to love each other a lot although he doesnt want me to meet him yet (not sure if or when I will). His family are all supporting me as well (my family dont live close). He has told me that he wont say we will never get back together (he said he would never get back with his prev ex so I know he isnt just saying it) but not to think that he would break up with his new guy for me. Im very confused because he knew this guy since february and in may he was telling me that he had been having thoughts about us getting back together, what does it mean? When he said this I said Id like to get back together but still like to live in seperate places (I thought this would be what he wanted and at the time he agreed) was he hinting that he wanted to get back together then and wanted me to push for it in which case have i missed my chance or is there still a chance if he really loves me? We have loved each other deeply since the start nearly 4 years ago so I dont believe that the love has gone. Everyone is saying they wont work but he seems so sure they are happy and he doesnt have a bad word to say, all he says is positive things about them and how happy he makes him. Whats going on HELP Im really confused!
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reader, lostinlove +, writes (3 August 2006):
lostinlove is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi peeps, just an update to let you know that they broke up just over a week ago, he spoke to me on the saturday and asked what he should do, i tried to show him his new guys point of view and explain why the guy was doing what he was doing but he still decided he wanted to break up, since then Ive stayed over his every night which has been almost 2 weeks however he says we are just friends but that maybe one day we could get back together. He has said that being with me was so much better than being with this other guy and he cant stand the other guy now. He is in student accomodation at the moment as at uni, when i start in september he wants me to move into the studio next to his which has already been sorted, we're going out at the weekend and went out last weekend so all i can say is its been a great few weeks and hopefully it will get better so lets watch this space :) thanks for all your support peeps and I promise Ill keep you updated.
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reader, miss ellie-may +, writes (19 June 2006):
 you need to set a point at which you have had enuf and then stick to it! seriously, talk about mixed signals! well you have a right to some straight answers so when your done hoping everything will resolve itself id take a deep breath and demand them! i know youve sed that he knows how u feel but u hav o idea wots going on in his mind and thats wot u need rely! here he is playing u soppy love songs and cooking u romantic meals and oh yeh, DATING SOMEONE ELSE! sounds to me like someone wants to have his cake and eat it to! there comes a point where u have got to stand up for yourself and say "either we are together or were not, and if were not then thats fair enuf, it hurts, but at least make a god damn decision!!"lol sorry but ive been involved with guys like him before - they make you simultaneously uncontrollably in love and desperately unhappy. if its gonna happen between u guys agen then he needs to get his ass into gear, and if not then u need to take all that dignity and self respect that hes trying to take from u, and get as far away from him as you can!!!lots of miss ellie-may love xxx (dont forget to keep the updates coming!!)
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reader, lostinlove +, writes (18 June 2006):
lostinlove is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi peeps thanks again for the further advice, we had a good day today, he cooked a lovely roast dinner but we were still as friends although he played this years Greek eurovision entry while he was cooking?? (For those of you who dont know it is basically a song about still being in love with all the things you hate about your ex and how hard it is to leave?!?!) I think he was prob just playing it because is a nice song but some of the other songs he plays go along the same lines, he already knows how I feel and that I would take him back if he was to ask so what the hell do I do???? This is getting weirder by the day!!
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reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (17 June 2006):
 Man I'm right there with you. Going thru the exact same thing with my ex as we speak. Her familiy is supportive of me and love me. We still go out and have fun together and she has said that she hasn't ruled out getting back with me but she just wants to be single and enjoy her life even though I know she is seeing someone else. I understand your pain and confussion because I have felt it also and still do at times. You have to dredge on. Think of it this way. He knows where you are and how you feel. When he sees fit to call you and get back with you then he will. I personally am not going to sit idley by and wait for such a day. I'm going to make new friends go out with different girls and hopefully try to find a small fraction of the feeling that I had for her in one of them. Life seems so much harder without the person you love most in the world but there is life. The world goes on whether your sittin on top of it or stretched out under it. You have to move on for your own sanity and well-being. Its hard as hell trust me I know but you have to realize that your well-being and your love is not restricted by this one person as it may seem that way now. I'm sure there are people who love you now and want whats best for you now and by you not being able to be move on, be happy and live again you cheat them and especially yourself. Love you over no other and continue. I wish you the best.
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reader, miss ellie-may +, writes (17 June 2006):
awwww my god that realy really sucks!!! the first thing i think u shood rely RELY remember is that he has been with this new guy for a WEEK!!! he was in love with u every day for FOUR YEARS!!! theres no way he could replace u after a week - it doesnt sound like hes doing a great job of moving on either to be honest. he pretends like he has but then tells u he still has feelings for u and that theres still hope. that leaves u with 2 ways of interpreting the situation: 1) he DOES still have feelings for you and there IS still hope or 2) hes keeping u hopeful in case new guy doesnt work out, in which case hes a svum bag a lier and a cheat! does his new b/f know he still has feelings for u i wonder? somehow i doubt it.it does sound to me like theres a good chance u guys will get back together, but id think long and hard about whether thats the best thing for you to do. dont let urself get used.also praps u shood back off a bit, or even a lot lol. stop asking to meet his new guy - stop crying on his famillies shoulder...im not saying that u shood go off and start dating, but while ur still right by his side hes got no reason rely to fear losing u, which is the best way of making ppl realise how they really feel, i.e. either they cant be without u (in which case all is well) or that they can (in which case, hard as it may be, you have to try and scrap back together some kind of a life)good luck darling, and keep me updated!!!miss ellie-may :)
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