A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I wrote in a while ago because my ex fiancee and myself split up, we was together for 3 years and I still very much loved her and I was advised to give her space because the split was her choice. In the time apart we still spoke to each other but I could not persuade her to give us another go. We have been apart for about 6 months and just recently I have been seeing someone else as my ex said it was truly over. In the last week my ex has told me she still loves me and leaving was a terrible mistake and she would love to start again so now I feel so confused because I still love her but I can't hurt this new girl that I have been seeing, also with this new girl we work together so it makes it more complicated and she stood by me when I was at a low point after my ex left. So I really don't know what to do!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2007): I agreed with flower girl..I am going through a similar situation, but in my case is my boyfriend who is confuse about his ex-girl and me.. I tell you this, what it hurts me the most is that he keeps things from me, he secretly call her and keeps in touch with her eventhough I know he does not want to be with her. But, his behavior has hurted our relationship a lot. So, my advice to you is to be honest with your current girlfriend and tell her how you feel upfront. I think she deserve to know what is going on.. be honest with her.. with both of her... I think you should take some time apart from both of her...
A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (28 July 2007):
 Oh this happens all the time, your ex has seen that you are now moving on with your life and she has realised that she has lost you and you are not prepared to wait around for her forever.What i will say is though, i don't think you should stay with your current girlfriend if you are still in love with your ex.The reason you split up with your ex, is it something you could get past?.Think about you, you need to be happy and i admire the fact you are worried about hurting your new girlfriend but you will hurt her even more if you stay with her when you don't truly want to be with her.Take care.xx.
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (28 July 2007):
 I think you have to follow your heart to be honest. If you stay with this new girl out of a sense of just not wanting to hurt her that doesn't seem to me to be a solid basis on which a relationship can flourish. On the other hand it may...its not for me to say either way.
Unfortunatley this is one of those situations where your intent is true but avoiding hurting somebody maybe an impossibility. It's a sad fact of life that these situations sometimes arise.
However, before i do anything I would be sure that you are choosing the right path. Why has your ex suddenly had such a rapid change of heart? You should make sure her heart is in it too. Good luck.
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