A
male
age
36-40,
*rishJester
writes:I recently finished with my girlfriend who was cheating on me with another boy. She denied it all and we are still apart because of this. I have met a couple of girls since we have finished but I feel nothing for them and all i can think about is my ex. I know if I got back with her things would never work but i miss her so much and can't stop thinking about her. Can anyone help?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2009): this has happened to me in this last year......started new college...and met this beautiful girl who i thought was my world (R)....i finally plucked up the courage and asked her out....through a song i made for her on piano...n from their our relationship started...everything was perfect....just how things should have been...then after three weeks...one day she decided to introduced me to this guy who she said was like her brother (W)....and then one week later told me that we couldn't be together because her older brother found out (S) trying to put myself into her position i said to her...lets keep it low for the next few weeks...and then things were awkward...because everytime i'd see her i'd wanna be with her...and she would act awkward...i thought this would be because she did not wanna get caught...n afterwards she just started to be completely ignorant of me..n mixed messages so i thought let me just give her some space....after a few dais she sent a text message apologising for how she was treating me...still upset bout how she was...i didn't reply to that text message...then she sent another message saying "i take that as you don't give a f***...i dont care nemore bout you...your nothing to me....and dont bother replying"...at this point i just tried to play it cool with her and tell her that i was just hurt by how she had been treating me...and if it was a frendship she wanted it would take more than a simple txt....and she then replied saying that "she doesnt giv a f*** what happens to me...and to watch my back"...after that she had stirred between me and my best friend...and then he came up to me the next day...n slapped me...yes a guy! and we got in2 a fite...and then i found out that the whole reason she broke up with me was because she had been going out with someone else....(W) the guy she introduced to me as her brother....this was a shock in itself...n i tried slitting my wrists...thats how hurt i was from this betrayal of hers...i had lost everything that day....my best friend...my girlfriend....and trust...but i realised that there will always be light at the end of the tunnel....after...she apologised for everything that happened...and at first...i told her i aint bothered...you ent genuine....but later i forgave her...till this date it still is awkward when i see her as we catch the same bus..go the same college...when i listen to the songs we shared...go past the place we had our first kiss...and even playing the piano....but what burns more than anything is that fire to rise above stronger than ever successful than ever...n show her what she lost....n thats what keeps my heart going...helping it survive through this pain its been through....
A
male
reader, jlovinj  +, writes (11 August 2008):
Man, I know this subject is really hard to swallow because I have had this problem myself and my ex never fessed up until one day when she told me about 2 guys within 2 yrs. I know that it was hard to get over her because she seemed so sweet and beauty was her very being! I was spellbound by this young hottie!
When she told me about the affairs, I know from my past experiences that if someone tells you about bad things they are probably still hiding more and just want to clear some conscious thats bugging them. Take the notion in your heart that it's probably to your best intuition to be completely done with her.
Did her cheating on you hurt your ego, pride, and self esteem? Do you feel that she will find someone better than you? The reason that she cheated is because you weren't a great guy and she got bored or just needed a hotter guy (Do you think thats true?) If you feel in any way that could be how you feel then you should just take time to work on loving yourself and release the power that she has over you now! It's powerful in a negative sense to feel like someone has gotten over on you and lied, decieved, and betrayed you. Human nature has it where you want to prove yourself to her and you all over again. Best advice, move on and do the things that will put your life over the top so when she and everyone else sees you a year from now they'll all say WOW he's doing really great...I wish I would've never cheated on him, I wonder if I could get him back?! Then tell her to KISS YOUR ASS!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2008): I have been cheated on b4,so I know how u feel,I have forgiven my ex for it,as I know he loves me and always has,He didn't really feel nothing for this women and couldn't ever get over me,I think he did it,cus he was feeling very low about himself,and cus we were having a few problems,I wouldn't give up on your ex,cus u oviousley love her,and ppl can change with time,I know cus he has now finished it with this girl and we are back together and stronger than ever,also there is our kids involved,I hope u do decide on what u want asap,cus nothing is worth losing that was good,no matter how bad it seemed,Gdl,and all the best.Rae:)
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A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (30 July 2008):
 Over time your feelings for her will slowly diminish and you can move on, time really is the healer of all pain. Its never easy splitting up from someone espessially when you were cheated on, but things will get easier. You could look at it that you had a lucky escape, i mean she cheated on you once, the chances are she would have done it again. I know it may not seem like it now but eventually you will meet a good honest loving girl that loves you to bits, and you will forget all about your ex.
All the best
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