A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I came out as gay few months ago.However I still share a place with with my ex bf.We have been together a long time, even if for the last year or two it our relationship was more like a couple of pals then a bf and gf.We generally have agreed to move separate ways, but only when we can afford it.At the moment we have to move out of the place we share and it looks like we still looking for a joined place.The problem is that he seems to be unable to get his act together: he seems to have massive time management problems and lack of organisational skills.He was unable to get himself a job for a long time now, and partially depends on his dad supporting him.It is not my business where he gets his money from, but it stresses me out horribly when he says "I have to ask my dad" and then he doesn't do it for the next one or two weeks, because he cannot get his act together.He usually keeps his promises and even would do things like lending money to me when I needed to go to my home country for my fathers funeral as on this was on a very short notice. But the way he deals with his finances is so horrible that he looses credibility.He would routinely leave ony official/finance related thing leave to the last moment. An example would be that he needed some small sum of money from me bacause of a direct debit from his acount: he only mentioned it on the day that it had to be on his account, making me late for work.I totally don't understand his ways in this department. In a way I feel like I owe him something, because when I came to be with him he sort of looked after me. But at the moment I am the only one working and I feel like I am not moving forward at all.My plan was to work and save so I could continue with my studies, however with him it proved to be impossible.On the one hand he is my friend I feel that it would be unfair to move out now and leave him without any security, on the other hand I am terribly stressed when I live with him and feel that I should be on my own. If I move out now on my own though I would feel terribly selfish and like I am betraying him. If I stay I would feel that I am unable to help him and maybe I am just supporting his lack of organisation.So what is the right way to act in this situation without beeing a tw4t.thanks
View related questions:
flatmate, money, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2008): Reading your posting reminded me of a quote by G.K. Chesterton: " It isn't that they can't see the SOLUTION. It is that they can't see the PROBLEM".
I think you should talk to him and explain to him how you feel.When he can identify with the problem, you might find the solution.
|
