A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Please help me as I am feel I will go mad!!Thus is my life...nearly 32,with a wonderful wonderful guy who treats my so so well, I work full time and part time, volunteer for a youth club, rent my own house. When my parents go away, they depend on me to take care of the house (my brother never has too) and in daily life my parents call me kind, thoughful and a brilliant daughter.My bloke... He has 2 young children (4 and 8) who I have bonded so well with and love being round them. We have plans to buy a house, so at the moment, we are trying to save. He has aspirations etc but to top it off we both love each other very much.So..my dad hasn't met him and won't..he won't acknowledge that my fella exists. He has warned me about seeing a man with children, which I have taken on board, but my decision was to stay with my fella.How on earth can I change my dads views on this? My mum is ok and realises at my age, men will have children, but we can't talk about him infront of my dad because my mum gets shouted at after.I love my dad, cared for him when he had a huge heart attack, take care of them both and tell them I love them dearly, but I am now starting to resent my dad. If he met him, and still didn't like him, then fine, people are entitled to their own opinions. So what do I do?!? My dad has told me I am stupid for taking this on.Thank u kindly xt Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2012): You are an adult and you are not beholden to your dad. He doesn't have to share a life, bed, etc., with the man he deems as a suitable partner for you, right? So the bottom line is that this is none of his damn business whether he likes it or not - it's your life!
Your dad apparently doesn't respect you because 1) he doesn't value your judgment and decision making capacity and 2) he flat out told you that you are stupid. If this guy is not "the one" for you then you be the individual who has to come to the realization when it doesn't work out; if your dad respects you as an adult he should at least respect your right to make the right, or wrong, decisions.
Your dad will never lose his archaic, stubborn mindset.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2012): He just wants the best for his little girl, thats Dads for you.
However he has gone too far by not even agreeing to meet him and give him a chance.
I think you will have to accept his stance for now. He will in time,see how happy this man makes you,realise he's going to be around you all and in your life for the future.
One day you two may have a child of your own and then your Dad will have to accept it. I think the best person to handle him is your Mum, she's closest and knows him best.You should ask her to help, but its going to be a slow process, your Dad sounds very stubborn.
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