A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hello, this is a bit of a trivial question but i'd like peoples opinions. Im a gothic girl and love tattoo's and piercings.My dad is a lot older then my mum, my dad is in his 70s and is very traditional, he hates beauty and body modification whether its tattoos, piercing, dying hair or make up and says he'll disown me if i ever did any of them, iv already dyed my hair and have 4 different piercings. he hasnt been to bothered about them, i guess because they are reversable. im now married, living a few miles away from my parents and have a baby of my own. For my birthday a few weeks ago, i got a whole lower back tattoo and i love it, people on facebook say its a beautiful piece of artwork. My question is, My husband says i shouldnt mention it to my parents as they'll be mad, my mum wont be as mad as my dad, but she will say 'you better not let your dad see it' should i tell them, well more her, iv got it or not? i dont want a few years down the line my mum seeing it and having to say 'yea i got it last year' etc.. what do you think? thanks in advance
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (7 December 2011):
 My religion specifically prohibits tattoos.. I have two and my father is horrified at the thought. He has seen ONE on my shoulder and he hates it... he doesn't even know about the one on my thigh.
You are a grown woman, living on your own. I would personally NOT go out of my way to SHOW him the tattoo or discuss it with him... but I would also not HIDE it (as in making sure it's totally covered and never discussed)....
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2011): If its on your lower back there is no reason why he has to know he's not gonna see it is he so I would keep it to yourself personally
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (7 December 2011):
 Over 18, legally an adult in the UK.. you are grown up and don't need to tell your Dad anything.
Besides your now married, your husband (and your own) opinion is all that matters now, remember you dad gave you away at the wedding to your husband.
Unless you really want your father to disown you, why tell him something that might split up your family. Do you tell your dad everything you do, say and buy? You need to sort that out if you do, your a married adult, your father will probably think it strange if you go to him and start asking for his acceptance about the way you choose to dress and behave..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2011): I think we know Dads opinion/distaste was given in a very dire, dry way. So much is his ditaste but I highly doubt he meant it. It was a means of communication. Exaggeration even.
You have piercings and dyed hair so why are you still hell bent on your open rebellion?
If you are secure, could give a rats ass, as most gothic girls give off (I included) you should realize you are an adult and its your body. So why even try to goad Dad or even worry what Dads opinion is?
Also out of respect and to not go overboard on creating drama and unnecessary tensions, fights, arguements- keep it Mum.
Show some decorum for your Parents, afterall they may not be perfect, but still love and honour them as much as you can- they won't be around for long.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (6 December 2011):
 Don't tell him. If it were me (God forbid, when it's me) I'd really rather not know.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (6 December 2011):
 One of the great things about being an adult is the ability to make your own decisions. You are perfectly within your rights to flaunt your parent's authority. You have no obligation to tell them whatsoever. Of course they have the right to disinherit you, after all it's their money and they can spend it any way they want, because they are adults too.
Personally, When I do something that I know is going to upset my dad (he's a little younger than yours), I don't tell him. Perhaps it's just my mean streak, but when he goes off ranting about something or other, I just mentally sit back smugly and think, "but you don't even have a clue about . . . ".
I guess you really asked whether you should tell your mom. The answer to that is more simple. Never ask anyone to keep a secret from their spouse. It is unfair for you to put that separation between them.
FA
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 December 2011):
 It is something you feel a HUGE need to share with them? Personally I wouldn't. You know they don't like and approve of it, but it's your body and your choice, so why "flaunt" it in their faces?
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