A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I hate my brother. Im 25 and hes 22. We used to have good relationship and since last year i think we hate each other or at least i hate him.Last year so many things happen. He lied to my parent about his girlfriend background and even against us because of her. My mom forbid their relationship and asked me to tell her about his girl information. I told her what i know and its all a fact. My brother since then hate me because he thought that my mom forbid them because i told them about the fact. Then they break up. Since then he keep revenge on me.Last year i also break up with my boyfriend and its so rocky that time. Hes being emotional and harsh to me. Hes never been like that before and never ever since then. But my brother know about this because he sneek into my phone and keep using this information to intimidate me. He insult me all the time with that and keep saying ill have bad future after marry to him.He is my fiance now. We planned to marry next year. However my brother still keep revenge on me daily and i cant stand it anymore. He is such a jerk that whenever he sees me talking to my mom he said hurtful things like im going to live a desperate life marry a man like my fiance and he will treat me badly. He even said i will live miserably because my fiance is not rich ( my brother is going to inherit all my parents asset in the future ). Thats sucks. I hate him because hes being a jerk everytime we met. Hes trying to make me feel hurt and i dont know what hes expecting. Whenever he insult me i feel so angry and sad. That's right my fiance had made mistake in the past and thats part of our relationship black period but before and after that he's been so kind and care genuinely to me. He loves me so much and everybody can feel it including my brother who imitate how my fiance show his love to me to his girlfriend. I hate him so much because of this and i feel i cant forgive what hed done to me. My parent did nothing to advise nor stop him doing that and my mom only say just keep patience and ignore him eventually he will tired of that and stop doing that anymore. But everytime he said something hurtful im like emotional like im going to explode. I defend and he keep insulting me with the hurtful things he said. Sometimes i wish i dont have any brother like him. I cant leave home because its our tradition to live together till marriage.What should i do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2015): I agree with Denizen. You all interfered with his relationship and told your parents things you shouldn't have, even it was true why did you all go out of your way to do that. He's upset with you and lashing out. You don't like it when he says things about your fiance so he didn't like that being done to him.
Apologise for what you said about his partner and try to make amends.
A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (15 November 2015):
 Hate is a strong word and I think you need to modify that immediately. Fall outs in families are bad and can rumble on for years. This needs to come to an end now.
You have to accept you part in this. You got involved when you should have kept your own counsel. You blabbed to your parents about your brother's relationship. Your parents too are not blameless. They should have asked your brother straight out.
Now he blames you for what you did and is getting revenge.
You have to recognise the cycle and bring it to an end.
You need to apologise for your part in this and he needs to accept this and stop being hurtful to you. You have to mend your fences as we say in the west.
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