A
female
age
41-50,
*ersman81
writes:My 44 year old BF let his mother to move in with him after her divorce (4 years ago). She now has her own room (next to his) and keeps coming up with reasons to stay. When I express my discomfort I am met with defense of her reasons to stay which include being there for his 14 year old (who had him, me, a grandparent who lives within 3 Miles and his mother every other weekend). Mom has a place and family in Texas and used to just visit for a month or two in the summer (which was a lot anyway). Her stay has prolonged to 9 months and has no sign of growing shorter. My BF seems fine with this arrangement even after 5 years together. I am fed up and disgusted by the fact that mommy does the laundry (including sheets) and grocery shopping. She had completely taken over his house from decorating to meal planning. I love him and our connection to each other but I've reached my limit with mommy sleeping in the next room. Please advise-hopeless in the heartland
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (11 March 2015):
 Apparently he is happy to have his mother living there. She takes care of the housework and his kid when he is staying over, I mean your boyfriend must like all the extra free time. It's his house his mother and his choice. Since you've already told him you weren't happy about the situation and he did nothing to change it I guess you either have to suck it up or walk.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2015): Are you guys at a point in your relationship where you can justify getting your own place together? Maybe it is time to move, and let mom make her own arrangements.
If your BF isn't willing to back you up on this though, I am afraid your only choices are to put up with it or leave. I don't think he may be willing to change much since he has let this go on for 4 years.
If he will not put you as a priority over his mother, then, in my opinion, a marriage would be doomed anyway. Your married partner is your closest family member then & should come first over mom & kids (within reason of course don't freak out everyone).
Alternatively, if you are very patient and can handle a long game, you maybe could try getting mom her own boyfriend & see if eventually she could move in with him...
Best of luck to you.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (11 March 2015):
 Why not let out very loud exclamations during sex to totally embarase her and him?
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