A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ive been with my bf for almost a year and a half now most of the time things are pretty good between us, however there is always something thats going to cause a massive rift between us, his odious friends they treat me like im a diseased whenever im out with my bf and his friends are too they go out of their way to make me awkward and uncomfortable as possible. I tell my bf it makes me feel bad all i get back is why do you need their approval its not about approval its called being polite. He says no one is making him choose between me and his so called mates i think he is being incredibly naive a perfect example is they had a party last night and invited him knowing full well he would have to leave me at home alone they make things so difficult and ive had enough of it. My friends have been nothing but nice to him treated him nicely and havent gone out of their way to exclude him, i know i shouldnt make a big deal out of it but it really hurts i feel really isolated i just need abit of advice cause me talking to my bf is getting me nowhere Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2011): Well before all of this I was going out with a friend in the same group, and when we broke up, I got all the blame. Then everyone ignored me and this started back in 2009, so this has been going for a few years now. It's not just guys its girls too, they are punishing me for something that happened 2 years ago. I am unfriendly towards them now and blank them if I ever see them out. I just wish my bf would stick up for me we have so many fights about this and eventually it feels like he is going to have to choose between us. We are hopefully going to moveIn together and I have made it clear that I don't appreciate havingthem in my house when they don't respect me.
A
male
reader, friend2listen +, writes (24 April 2011):
 HelloIt sound like to me that ' that his pals are jealous ' and there don't have his full attention no more so there are make in you feel the way you are feeling .. This is a kind of bulling and mental abuse. I am sorry but if your partner is NOT telling them to back off or treating you with respect then tell him you are done and you want to move on from this relationship.Give him the Option you or them, don't waste a other year on him as he has not changed yet or i don't think he will. The best to do is call it off as he is not worth it !!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2011): I think you need to lay down some ground rules with him about his mates, as anyone deserves to be treated with respect. Before you do this though I would ensure that you look at it objectively and think whether perhaps you've been giving out unfriendly signals subconsciously. I would also ensure that your boyfriend gets to spend time with his friends away from you and not only when you are busy - it is nice to socialise together but don't forget we all need our space and perhaps his friends feel they can't see him without you there. It may not be nice being home alone but that isn't your boyfriend or his friend's responsibility to babysit you. If you had something organised with him first then yes that is inconsiderate.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2011): I ve been in a same shoes as u are now, when i first dated my husband. I really disliked couple of his friends, not all of them. Unfortunately there was nothing i could do when i talked to my husband. So, i started telling straightforward to his friends.
It helped. Its not that they started liking me, but they stoped being obnoctios around me. Thats all i needed.
Like u i experienced complete lack of manners with them. If we went to the bar and my husband steped away, they would turn their backs to me, not talking to me or pretending that i dont exist. They would call my house, asking my husband to the phone, without saying hello and introducing themself.
So i started telling them. Thats all u can do. It will never hurt them to learn about manners if their mothers failed to teach them. They can benefit from learning that their behavour is not acceptable. Speak up!!
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A
female
reader, Shesmylife517  +, writes (24 April 2011):
Well if they make you feel like that do the same to them.. Its wrong but maybe they feel like when u are around they cannot be themselves.. Guys are weird sometimes an if they are single then they like to talk about girls an with u there they cannot communicate with him as if u were not there. If your bf brings you around them then its a good thing :) he doesnt care what they think an he is showing them you are there to stay :) good luck an p.s treat them as they treat you
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