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My boyfriend's family are very badly behaved with me

Tagged as: Dating, Family, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 June 2019) 4 Answers - (Newest, 13 June 2019)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Hello, I have a question about how I should handle my feelings toward my boyfriend's family. We have been dating for seven years now. I am 23 and he is 26. When we began dating, his mother did not like me at first but I learned it's because she is a single mother who is quite introverted. I am introverted as well. She and I get along now but at times I feel as though she is resentful at times. My SO has three younger brothers. Two are teens, and one is a child. One of teens liked me before but is now constantly disrespecting me when I come to their house. He asks things like what the f is she doing here? I don't think much of it normally, but since I am going through personal things of my own, it bothered me. I have spoken to my SO about this numerous times and claims that it is normal for his teenage brothers to swear and wonder about me. I don't know how to react to this. Can I please get some advice? Thank you.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2019):

My take on this OP, is that the quiet teen is just introverted, like his mom and yourself. The mouthy teen is trying to act older by using foul language. He is jealous that his older brother has a hot looking girlfriend who he is intimate with. The teen wishes that HE was intimate with you, in his brothers place! The reason that Foul Mouth says very little about his girlfriend from school is because he is not making good progress with her! His foul mouth act is not impressing that young lady, anymore than it impresses you OP! Try reaching out to this frustrated brother, to befriend him. In doing so, confide in him about how much you Love his brother and how you feel a Loving friendship toward him too, as a brother of your beloved! If anyone can set him straight about cleaning up his vocabulary around women, and what women like in a man, it will be YOU! You see, he likes you a lot, but he is frustrated because he does not know how to show it, since you are already taken. With no dad to teach him hes inept!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2019):

Hello, this is the OP. So I spend time at my boyfriend’s house with him. His mother doesn’t mind much but I believe she does. My boyfriend insists that she is okay with me being there. She normally picks up the three from school and the teenager runs his mouth a lot to his mother and throws in swear words a lot no matter what he talks about in conversations. This does have a girlfriend or female friend although he does not talk about her much. He’s normally in his bed room if my boyfriend and I are in the living room. The other teen brother seems as though he is uncomfortable with me as well. However, he is quiet and minds his own business.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (11 June 2019):

Honeypie agony auntI don't think their behavior is "normal" at all. But it might be that they KNOW it upsets you and they find it funny. Some people are like that. Or maybe he is a bit jealous that his big brother has a GF (you) and thus acts like a twat.

The thing you HAVE to remember is this, YOU can not change how they behave, your BF can not change how they behave - the ONLY thing you CAN do is decide how YOU want to react.

You can TRY and ignore it and him.

Or deflect with humor.

Or decide to take a break for going to HIS house. As in, meet elsewhere and spend time elsewhere.

Does the teenager do this IN FRONT of others or only when he sees you alone?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2019):

Your man should have your back and have a little talk with his brother...man to man.If he does not do that he does not have your back.Watch what he is showing you it will determine what to do next.If he does nothing about this he is not the man for you.Watch...Listen....observe.

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