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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years now. I love him very much and Iknow he loves me, but everytime his ex girlfriend calls I get really upset and annoyed. He doesn't understand howmuch it hurts me and says they are just friends. But I know his ex wants more because she calls him form the club miss calls him to call her back and he says he has to be there for her because shes his friend and shes been there for him.I don' know what to do I tried explaining it hurts me but he doesn't undersand.
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female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (11 December 2007):
 Then ask him to tell her to quit calling so much. They don't have to be enemies but this "friendship" thing is starting to be suspicious. And if they really are just friends, she'll understand the new boundaries and find new friends. And your b/f should be okay with this too.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHmmmmm the bitch called again yesterday.... HE said he has nothing to hide from me they are just friends and that he has no feelings for her.
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (5 December 2007):
Ask him how he would feel if you had a previous boyfriend always interefering, calling, texting and you were always jumping to attention when he called? Somehow I don't think he would like it. I also think there may be more going on between them. Your b/f needs to chose which one of you he wants to be with and cut the other one lose. His ex is playing a manipulative game that's coming between you (no doubt intentionally). He needs to wake up and smell the coffee.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI tried talking to him but he says he has done alot for me like not givin his mobile number to her etc. But she would call him and say call me back.So i'm confused, because it is really making me uncomfortable and we always argue about this.
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male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (5 December 2007):
Sometimes exs remain our good friends for some of us guys but knowing where to draw the line is important.Personally i would reduce my calls if i saw that my girlfriend's not happy.So there are two possibilities.Either you learn to accept they are good friends and not think so much and believe she can never steal him away from you.Or you tell him on a more serious level to stop frequently calling his ex because you don't trust her intentions and it's driving you crazy.I also wouldn't be too comfortable if i were you.If he insists on talking to her,ask him who's more important,you or his ex? And ask himm to choose.This should be a last resort!
All the best.
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A
female
reader, JujuBee  +, writes (5 December 2007):
I'm in frequent contact with almost all of my ex's and ex-sexual partners. From time to time a boyfriend has been made to feel uncomfortable, and I can relate: its natural and I've had the same feelings. I've talked with them about it but I haven't compromised my other friendships, either, and its never been the source of any troubles. Currently, my boyfriend gets along great with all of ex's (not to say that I'm only friends with people that I date) and two in particular (now "best buds") have even gone on camping trips with us and other friends. When my current boyfriend hasn't wanted to make the obligatory appearance at weddings or what have you he has no qualms with my taking a date, male or female, ex or otherwise.
Although with ex's there will always be a history which changes elements of the ensuing friendship, they have become platonic. It sounds to me like the real trouble here isn't necessarily the contact with his ex but the nature of the phone calls themselves. Calling "from a club" implies drunk and/or lonely. If she is leaning on him for pseudo-romantic support than he is in a sense leading her on, and she is profiting, and for the worse, it seems. She may not be willing to let go and he may feel a sense of obligation to "help" her, but if she still wants a relationship and feels she's "Waiting you out," she may never get over him. People usually need a period sans contact to "get over" their boyfriends/girlfriends, some even need strict guidelines after that, and some are incapable of casual contact after the romance has ended.
Try focusing on why she in particular may be contacting him instead of only being annoyed in general that he wants to maintain a friendly relationship with an ex when you talk to him about it the future. Hope this helped at least a bit.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2007): really easy i think that he is having something more with her so ask him maybe he lie to you 80% guys do so try to found out the way to give him what he wants and he is gonna be away from her ''good sex no problems''
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