| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: what do i do after my boyfried of nearly 8 yrs ,has cheated on me with his ex?we have 3 kids under 6.had no problems and a fantastic sex life..and he goes off and has sex with her.the affair was going on for two months when i accidently found very explicit messages to her on his phone...i am devestated,yet still love him!however he gives me no sign its me he is commited to.refuses to contemplate marraige!
View related questions:
affair, cheated on me, his ex, sex life Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2006): me again..i am still with the cheating low life...and can not see a way out of the hurt and hatred i feel.He dose nothing to show me he is sorry,.I FEEL SO INSECURE,i feel if he made the commitment of marrige to me ,it would show me it is me he wants....i feel so heartbroken and downtrodden.I told him last night it was our anniversary on january2,that we were starting year nine together..how surprised i was at the time going so quikly..he said how depressing..
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2006): well hun i know you love him but he is so wrong for you. if he will "settle" for her who else knnows who hes been "doin". i know you love your kids so do them a favor and leave his sorry ass.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2006): I held on to my son's dad for 7 years hoping he would change and be there for us once he settled down (We were not living together). He cheated on me once and told me he would never do it again and surprise he did do it again. He moved the woman into his home and told me 8 months after their cohabitation that he would end it with her. He told my son and I that he wanted to try and make things work so he could be with us. He stated that whether we were in the picture or not he wouldn't be with her and two weeks later he was engaged to the woman. This makes your situation worse. You have been with the man for 8 years. Why hasn't he married you? I would question whether or not he will search for another. It has nothing to do with you not being special enough to change for. He is a dog. It sounds like he has you on a string until he finds someone he is fond of.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2006): Hi, I probably know barely enough to give you any advice but let me say one thing: He won't change. Even if he sais he would, he won't. You should see it from this view - It's either you stop the relationship while you can still get someone, or he will stop the relationship later for some young girl, and you will be left. Sorry...thats just my view
...............................
A
female
reader, Toria +, writes (28 September 2006):
 I've always believed that cheating is the end of a relationship as nothing is a good enough reason for this mistake to have been made, if you love someone and want to be with them why would you need to sleep with someone else?
You've spent nearly 8 years and have 3 children to this man so the relationship is mean't to be a committed one yet he just totally disregarded you, your relationship and the last 8 years you've spent together for sex elsewhere.
You need to think about whether he would cheat again? If so how long before he would cheat again? Would you be able to trust him again?
You need to work out how you feel about him, the relationship and whether you could deal with and get over the fact he had this affair.
Good luck :o)
...............................
A
female
reader, beentheredonethat +, writes (28 September 2006):
 Ok....why is this man still your BOY-----friend after kids and a horrendous amount of time. The man has cheated on you for a reason...he is not ever going to commit to you and he is never going to marry you and now he's bopping other people to prove it to you. Do you mind me asking what possessed you to have so many kids with someone who Won't contemplate marriage? I mean you don't have to be married if its mutual...but have my babies but not my name is kind of saying...hey once you get dull...I won't have to spring for a lawyer...and you will have to prove the little buggers are mine...cause I didn't even marry you. And I in no way mean you should have not had the kids....they are worth 100 of him...i simply don't understand why he thinks kids are not a commitment...and several don't even bring you up to the standard of worthy to marry. That is crazy...he is a panty waste about being afraid he might have to take a bit of responsibility.
You must be a saint to have dealt with him and tried to be patient with him. Now he had the audacity to snog his former playmate...cause...what your tooo boring with all those kids? You need to realise that even with three kids you can dooooooooooooo Better. Hit him with his luggage, a paternity suit and companion support if you can get away with it and find yourself a real man who gets that it is an honor to be your HUSBAND. I wish you the best of luck dear and above all...This is not your fault.
...............................
A
female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (28 September 2006):
 Hi dearie,
I understand how u feel really. Its difficult to fall out of love with a person if u are a kind/devoted person who love with all their heart. But u should understand that it is a two way event. If u notice that ur partner doesnt respect the love u feel for him then u have to rethink the whole relationship.
Cheating to me is a totally disregard of what one person share with another. To be sincere with u my own advise will be to leave him. both of you dont even have the same dreams. while u want marriage and settling down i dont see him wanting commitment and most espeically he doesnt seem like someone who wants to stay devoted to you.
Whatever decision u make i wish all life best wishes
kelly
...............................
|
