A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Is it a red flag that my boyfriend who is perfect in most ways would not want to show me his friends list on blackberry messenger?I asked him why and he said he does not want to say why. I told him he could have girls on his list of which it would be fine with me as long as he will just be honest. Coz the moment I would know if he is communicating with other girls, i will really leave him.I always told him to be honest with me if anything happens and I would set him free. He just said he just doesn't want me to know who is in that list. Do you think he is hiding something? Help, I feel so helpless.What should I do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2012): Hello, I think you should trust him, and I think the reason he doesn't want to show you is because he thinks you should trust him too. If you keep on his case, sooner or later you're going to suffocate him to the point where he's going to want to spend less and less time with you, and that would be a problem because then you will think he's seeing someone behind your back. I may be wrong about it because I don't know him, but since you haven't mentioned any previous concerns about him and other girls I've just got this gut feeling he's an honest guy, and I think you're just worrying too much.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2012): Well, thanks for the reply, really appreciate it. I am the original poster.
Sorry, what I meant by saying I would leave him if he is communicating with girls is if he is maybe sexting them or pretending to be single.
Right now, he says to me, all these contacts are sending him only spam like ads or links to website about products. I had a little look at it when he is using it infront of me and so far, I didn't see some threatening girls there. So that's why I am wondering why he wont show me his list.
We have been together for 2 years now and been friends a year before being bf-gf. What do you think?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2012): Maybe you was unclear when you said firstly he could have girls on his bbm and then secondly when you said as soon as you are aware he's talking to females you will really end it. But for me thirdly and fourthly, since its not wrong to have friends of the opposite sex, maybe he has and is worried how you will take it. And fourthly you clearly don't trust him so why on earth are you with him to begin with? Are you allowed to have male friends just for the record?
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A
female
reader, Rainbow111  +, writes (4 June 2012):
There could be something wrong.
How long have yous been together?
If it's in the early stages then fair enough, guys tend to take a lot longer than women to come to senses in the do's and dont's. You should give each other privacy but not in these little minor things but i don't blame you on how you're feeling. Just don't let it cause you to be paranoid or it could ruin everything. Just talk to him or have a check in his phone if he gives you any opportunity to just have a look through and remember, if he doesn't like you having men on your phone, then who is he to have women on his? and if you do have men on yours, then you are noone to complain!
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