A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have sent sms msgs to my fiancee and he has not replied saying he is busy always supposedly in meetings (like 12hrs for 4 days in a row) (which i find impssible to believe). later he replies saying "this is harassment!" Someone who says something like that wouldnt say something like that to their significant other right?I'm so confused....please help!
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female
reader, stina  +, writes (30 August 2007):
 Hello Anonymous,Honestly, I've been in meetings that lasted 13 hours and I was about ready to strangle anyone who was around me. So I wouldn't put it past him that he's having 12 hour meetings, and I would also imagine that he's probably ready to shake anyone who gets on his nerves after them. I know that's not an excuse for him (or me! lol) but sometimes you can't help but get in a bad mood after a long day of continuous meetings.If he is in 12 hour meetings: I'm not sure what you said to him, but if you were snippy with him you might want to try and be the opposite. For example, instead of accusing him of not being in meetings, you might want to say "Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie. That sounds so draining. How about if we go away for the weekend and relax?" Then book a room at a nice and quiet bed and breakfast and have a romantic getaway. Or you could even stay at home and just try to make it as relaxing as possible - for the BOTH of you. Get some massage oil, aromatherapy candles, go to a fancy restaurant or order in and eat as much as you want. Just have a romantic, carefree, relaxing weekend with each other.If you know for a fact that he is not in meetings: I would set aside an evening and let him know that you're feeling hurt. Tell him what's on your mind, but try not to blame him for anything. Ask him how he feels. Tell him it's okay to be open with each other because you really want to make this relationship as strong as it can be. And, the only way that will happen is if you two are able to get everything out in the open with one another (honesty). Try not to get angry - that will do nothing but get him angry, as well, and that will probably cause an argument. Most likely, nothing will be solved by arguing and you'll be back to square one.So in short:- If the meetings are real, try to understand that he'd probably want to walk into oncoming traffic before going through four days of 12 hour meetings. He will not be in the best mood.- If the meetings are not real: have a heart to heart talk with him and try to figure out what the real issues are and how you can work together to solve them.Hope this helps. Take care.
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