A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of almost 3 years loves me but does he love his friend more? My boyfriend:1. mentions his friend several times in a day. If there is something that his friend likes, my boyfriend will say "He likes this. I'm going to go with him here/buy some so he and I can share it together" even after I have expressed interest in said place or thing.2. doesn't earn very much money and can't afford to take me out often. I'm fine with this but he always seems to have the money to go out with his friend or buy things to give to his friend3. more open to his friend's opinions than my own. If his friend likes something or thinks something is good, my boyfriend would be more likely to give it a shot than if I was the one who told him.4. once called off a meeting with his friend so he could go on a date with me (his suggestion) but was fretting the whole time that he would make his friend feel bad. He cut our date short so he could go over to his friend's place.5. works whenever I go over to his place so that he's free for whenever his friend comes over.7. Blows his mobile text limits by texting his friend. Also the friend:- gets upset when my boyfriend declines an offer to come over- is spending New Years Eve with his wife (the first time in five years) and has invited my boyfriend to spend the night with them. My boyfriend and I have yet to spend a NYE night together and he seems pretty OK with keeping up this tradition.My boyfriend does do nice things for me (such as cook etc) and seems keen on having a future together (moving in together + marriage) but I still get the feeling that I'm not his number one priority. I'd like to know what other people think.Thanks!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2011): It's important for both parties in a relationship to have friends-- they give us space, let us rant about annoyances, and offer emotional support that a partner might not be able to give in some situations. However, it seems like your boyfriend has a bromance going on. It seems like if you want to be with this guy, his friend is a part of the package. Have you tried getting to know his friends? Maybe you could incorporate his friends into your life more so that he doesn't spend so much time divided between you them.Another thing to consider is the character of his friends. How do they spend their time together? Do they stay out all night at bars, or are their gatherings pretty tame? I think the best thing to do would be to get to know his friends more. If their friendship is harmless, just some simple guy time, then I think you should accept that this guy is obviously important to your man and try to get to know him. As long as your boyfriend is where he says he is, and calls when he says he will, then I don't think you should worry. Only worry if he makes plans with you and then blows you off, or if he lies about where he's been. Seems like some harmless guy time to me!
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