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male
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anonymous
writes: Dear Aunt Agony.Whats more important? Your job, or the person "that you love". would you come back for your soulmate, or stay for your employment in another country?I'm a gay 23 male involved with a man 25 years old. He went overseas to work for 1 year, therefore making it that we are "together". He keeps on postponing his coming back because his career is getting stronger. he was due to arrive in October, then November, then December. Now I was told that he has postponed it again for Jan.I have been praying for him to come back, that way he could spend Christmas with his family and me. I always wanted him to come back so that we can start our lives together because we are very serious and committed to each other, and while he was back here in the country that his family and I are, he admitted to being unhappy with his work and job. However it was a very successful position, but felt that he wanted to work somewhere else for a year for experience make more money and come back.Obviously when the person you love is away from you, you want nothing more than for them to come back. I admit to being selfish and wanting him to come back sooner. I have even thought of dropping everything I have and be with him, but I too am establishing myself in the country that I am in. Is it fair for me to drop my life and leave?He has now said that he is confused and the sooner the time comes for him to come back he feels more pressure, hense the reason why he delays and now his job is stronger.He feels that we have grown during this year that we have been apart, but we are growing in different directions, and want different things. That however is not true. All I wanted was for him to come back home. Wwe want to be together, and before, that's what he used to say to me: he is coming back for me. Now he needs time to think about what is best for him and his future, and what he wants! Am I part of that future?? Is this the road to a break up? All I wanted was for him to come back. I have even thought of dropping everything i have and go to where he is. I in turn might not survive finacially there, but at least we'd be together. Am I being selfish? I'm frustrated and admit to feeling angry and hurt, but what does he mean? He says that he loves that country and that is where he wants to start his life. He said that apart from me making him happy and him wanting to spend the rest of his life with me, he is happy in that country. Am I competing with a country? I do not understand. I apologise as I'm sure I have repeated myself many times, but I am so confused. I love him so much and we share a very special bond together. What frightens me now if the next thing he says is that he needs time alone, needs a break from us?? I want him, but does he want me? I knew before for a fact that I was the only one for him, and he has not been with anyone else while we've been away. But now I'm getting a very cold shoulder from him. What's happening! Somebody please help. What am I not seeing?Please help.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2005): Why isnt your "career getting stronger"?
Why are you waiting for him so you can start your life?
You arent a good match for anyone if you dont have an independant identity.
Also factor in what city he is in. He may be having a lot of NSA gay party sex.
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