A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for two and a half years. We met when I was 16 and he was 17. At first things were great, and somethings still are. However, he isn;t motivated to do anything with his life. It's been like this for almost a year and a half. I'm in my first year of college going to school to be a doctor and he lives at home with my parents. He's been trying to find a job but so far nothing has been successful. I try and help him as much as I can, but lately it seems we're two different people. I've always been very independent and motivated and until he met me he wasn't interested in anything. His parents don't really help him and I'm too young to be taking care of him and myself. I'm his girlfriend not his mother. I love him but I don't know what to tell him or what to do to get him to get his rear in gear. I want to know how to get him to the point where he has a job and can take care of himself without my telling him to! Any advice?
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female
reader, flower girl  +, writes (5 October 2007):
 Unfortunately some people do need to be told, because if they are not they are happy to just plod along especially if no one around them are telling them anything different.
Tell him that you can not and are not willing to support him and he needs to find some thing to do with his life, and that you are unhappy with the way things are at the moment, if he is not prepared to do anything about it then maybe it's time you went your seperate ways.
Take care.xx.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2007): I wasted 5 years of my life with a guy like that. No job, no motivation. He would take classes, but nothing that he needed to get an actual degree. He only took classes to say he was in college because he was 27, living at home with his parents. Now he's almost 30, still living at home with his parents. He says there are no jobs so he's not going to try, when we were together he worked but only because I made him, and it was a struggle to get him to do it. And he always got fired anyways. The difference here is that my ex's parents do support him, and pay all of his bills. I don't understand why if his parents aren't there to support his laziness, why is he lazy then? It would seem to me that he would have had to be independant. Have you ever considered the fact that your parents are supporting him by letting him live with them, therefore you are encouraging his laziness? You should kick him out & then see if he does anything for himself.
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (5 October 2007):
Your advice is easy. Dump the loser and find a guy with your brains and ambitions.
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