A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Should I be with a guy that I was with four years and was a secret. He never took me where he lived and never took me to his parents. I always felt hurt about it cause my past relationship was not like that I would cry to him sayiing I don't want it to be this way and he woulds ignoring the situation and he will make me feel wrong if I broke up with him saying if you break up with me you don't love me, so I would stay with him. I then got pregnant when I was with him for three years and I felt he wasn't the one one to have a baby with because I was a secret. I told him tell your parents about me so I will feel right have a baby with you but he said he will when its the right time but I felt I wanted him to tell them at that point I deserved that. Plus he distant him self from me. I was deciding to get an abortion ansd I will tell him that I wanted him to step up so I won't feel like to do that. But he didn't so I decided to get an abortion something I always said I would never do. So I did to it and its been a year and I still feel hurt about it. I broke up with him and then he finally told me he wants to introduce to his parents and take me where he lives I ended up going but everything feels so wrong I feel so angry with him and guilty what I has done I don't feel in love with him the way I use to. I feel he introduced me to hime parents cause he knew I'm not gonna deal with all this anymore I wanted him to do it from his heart he's forced to do it. Plus he is controlling I had to hide with things I do like eat pork or drink or what I where very controlling but now I broke up with him he changed everything I can do anything no I feel he is fake why couldn't he do this before and we could o f had a family what should I do?
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (6 February 2010):
 He is controlling to the point you can't even break up with him. Luckily you could decide what you do with you body. He cannot love you. His family cannot love you. There is nothing you missed the whole time you didn't see his family. Sounds like you are still hurting about the abortion. He sure is making you feel guilty about all this. Didn't he? Realize the promise that you could do everything is itself controlling. He does not know any other way of relating. How much longer could he fake? What should you do? Break up with him one last time. You can have a family with anyone. Don't waste any more time with him. First love yourself and take control of your own life.
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