A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm going to start with an explanation first.I've been seeing my boyfriend for a little over a year now. Him and I love each other. He is as sweet as can be and we've never had any huge arguments-- only bickering that lasted 5 minutes and we got over it. We get along great and I see no problems in our relationship thus far.Him and I don't live particularly close to each other-- about 35 minutes apart. So at the most, we see each other three times a week, which has been working out fine. We talk everyday so we're always really close, so distance isn't really an issue here.He is heavily involved in string music. He drives 75 miles south every Saturday as of this school year to take music lessons and I'm glad he is enjoying his time with music. However, he keeps adding more and more onto his plate, tightening his schedule between school and music... and less of me. He also wants to add to his "music career" by going to music school. I had a huge talk to him about it before. I didn't want to crush his dreams, and I tried not to-- but I told him the likelihood of him landing a job with music is slim to none, even if he was an instructor-- music programs are scarce nowadays unless you are extremely good and have connections.I know it sounds mean, but they don't call it a "starving musician" for nothing. I asked him if there were alternate routes he would take, and he said no. So he doesn't have a Plan B. He is stuck on one idea. Keep in mind his family doesn't have much money (his mom is the breadwinner while his dad does nothing) so going a music school would be really expensive. And despite scholarships and loans, I'm afraid after he graduates it would be had to pay that off if he's not making enough money!Eventually, I want to live with him if our relationship continues to grow stronger. Don't get me wrong, I love him. But I don't know if I can handle having a boyfriend that will find it extremely hard to find a job. To me, it just doesn't seem practical. I played music through high school and I know what it's like for teachers to struggle with their money because people aren't interested/don't have extra funds to learn music. I'm going to school to be a hairdresser so I know I will probably have steady finances.I really worry about my boyfriend. I don't want to leave him, but in our economic times I'm going to need help to move out. I love him and want to support him, but I don't think his plans for college will do him much good. :(Sorry for the loaded explanation. Here's the question:What should I do to convince him otherwise? Should I give him an ultimatum or try to come to some sort of consensus? Please, I need help. He is stubborn, but he is the loveliest guy I've ever met.
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