A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for going on 4 years. I love him very much and i care for him deeply. I know that he knows my feelings for him. However, he rarely tells me that he loves me. The only time i hear it is when i say it first. And even then i may have to repeat it to hear him say it. His i love you's are very forced. I feel that when you love someone, you tell them. and you go out of your way to let them know and to show them.I can understand that some people are very private with there feelings and don't want to publicize it, but he doesnt even want to show his feeling in private. We have been living together for about 4 months now and there is no affection at all, unless once again, i initiate it. We rarely spend any time together and he is very reluctant to. He gets upset if i go out with my roommate drinking while hes working and i dont invite him, but he goes out almost every night after work and will lie to me about it and not come home for hours.... were talking hes been off work for 5 hours.Tonight is another of those nights..I talk to him about this and he makes excuses. He tells me that he does love me... but i dont beleive it.Im just very confused and i dont know what i should do... i dont feel that i can leave him.help.
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (8 September 2008):
Well if you only go back because you feel guilty then it's no wonder that he hasn't reacted when you told him it's over. He knows he can carry on like he is and you'll be back in a week.
I think you need to get some sef respect and ask yourself if he is really all you deserve. Leave and don't go back.
Good Luck!! xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have told him that i am through and cant take it anymore.. it doesn't really have any affect on him. I mean when i do leave and i don't come home for a day or two he will be calling asking me where the fuck i am and to come back, but he gets over it pretty quick. I don't think he would be begging for me to get back together with him... i think thats what it is to is that were just both so used to being with each other.. that its weird to be with anyone else.
And there are times that when i do leave i act like im single.. but i always end up missing him and i feel guilty for doing that to him and then i end up just comming home and ditching out on whoever i am with...
I try to have a serious talk with him about this but he just avoids it and changes the subject. Like this last time.. to the fact that he needs new shoes. He doesnt want to talk about it and i dont know why. I dont understand why he wouldnt just want this resolved...
prolly simply because he just doesnt care? ...
ugh i dont know.. this confuses me so much. i feel like im stuck between a rock and a hard place...
thanks so much...
me.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (5 September 2008):
Well in my opinion this guy is with you because he's always been with you. You've got so used to being together through your teens that not you can't imagine actually surviving without each other, even if you aren't happy together.
I really don't think there is any way you can change the way this guy feels about you or behaves.
Unless you are willing to live life as a single girl for a while (millions do it every day and survive, and even enjoy it!) then you are pretty much stuck.
You can tell him you are sick of his behaviour and that you are leaving unless it changes. This does work, we get guys on here begging for ways to get their girl back once they finally leave. But unless you are actually prepared to follow through and walk away then you are stuck.
Good Luck!! xx
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