A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I are constantly fighting. The thing is he is the one who keeps fighting with me over issues that don't even matter or are fake/unreal in his mind. For example, if I don't pick up his phone call when he calls, he thinks I'm outside with someone else or I'm doing something bad like cheating on him.He's always accusing me of doing wrong things or cheating on him but I have never gave him any reason to think this way about me. Nor have I ever done anything wrong/or cheated on him behind his back. His ex-gf cheated on him multiple times in their relationship. That's why I think he accuses me of these things because he thinks in his mind that I will do the same. I keep telling him that I'm a different than his ex and I would never do these things because I love, value, and respect him too much. He's very controlling and he calls so many times a day or texts me a lot to check up on me if I'm doing something wrong. If I say something he doesn't like, he gets mad and ignores me until I have to apologize to him!!! Even when he is in the wrong and treats me bad... I have to apologize! Then if he feels like it, he will contact me to talk with me. Recently, we have became intimate with each other. Now that's all he wants to do when he meets me! He claims that he doesn't have money or he makes excuses not to go. But when it comes to sex he is ready to come out. I'm so upset because the last argument we had (which is continuing right now) I told him let's go somewhere to do something fun but he didn't want to go. He only wanted to go to the hotel and have sex. We were arguing with each other and I said some pretty hurtful things to him (cursed him/insulted him) because I was so upset that's all he ever wants to do is have sex now! After the argument, I tried to apologize to him because I did say mean things to him but if I felt it was justified by his behavior. He doesn't pick up his phone, returned any of my calls, or text me back. He completely is ignoring me. I don't even know what this means? Did he break up with me or is he just upset with me? I'm so confused, he never wants to talk things out normally. I left a voice mail and text him that I was sorry to please call me back. But he hasn't called yet. I don't know what to do. I feel like he just used me and doesn't want to be with me anymore because I called him out on his behavior. The only reason why I'm still pursuing him/want him in my life because there is a possibility I may be pregnant or else I would not even care to continue this relationship further.
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be pregnant, hasn't called, his ex, money, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Cerberus. This has been my first relationship and I can certainly say I have been very naive throughout it (although I saw the red flags sigh). I put up with a lot of things that I normally wouldn't have with anyone else. It certainly has opened up my eyes now that this is not how a normal relationship works. Thanks again, for the valuable input.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2010): Yeah he was, but once he learns that you're not going to see him anymore he'll probably try and convince you otherwise, don't listen to word he says. It's obvious from his actions he's just using you for sex and doesn't actually care about you at all.
Don't wait to find out if you're pregnant, just leave him. Don't feel bad or foolish either, this will be the last guy that will able to treat you this way because you'll know straight away what's happening if another tries this and will be able to act quicker.
Please, listen to your head on this one, not your heart and not him. Relationships aren't supposed to be like this and people who care about you aren't supposed to treat you this way, once might be a mistake but this guy keeps doing it and will keep doing it. Break off all contact with this horrible loser and block him from everything online.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the responses. I really appreciate it. I'm just scared that I might be pregnant. We had unprotected sex (stupid I know) and its too soon yet to tell if I am or not. I guess he was just using me for sex? If he can leave so easily and ignore me.... right?
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2010): What do you mean there's a possibility of you being pregnant? Just get tested and see. Then leave this absolute fool of a man. That's a very stupid reason to stay and put up with this. His ex probably left him for the same reason you will have to, he thinks you're cheating on him and you're not, so how do you know his ex cheating isn't all in his head or an excuse?
Leave this fool or continue being miserable, your choice and the right choice is to run for the hills, you know this, just go. Because frankly if you are pregnant then that's even more of a reason to leave him. Would you really raise a child in the middle of a relationship like that? You'd probably miscarry from the stress before it's even born. You have to leave him. Done and dusted.
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