A
female
age
41-50,
*ugar7998
writes:I think my boyfriend is hiding things from me, even the stupidest things. He takes all of his money with him even to work(constuction worker). He didn't tell me he borrowed money from Amscot or didn't ask me to borrow the money. We have lived together for 8 months and have been togehter for a year. What the hell is he up to?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2007): Are you stating, that your bf has borrowed money from Amscot, which you found out about, but he has not told you why? Are we talking a fairly large sum here? If he has been in the habit of involving you in money spending matters in the past, I can see how alarming this is for you. Or have you both kept your financial details separate, in the past? We can't tell you what he is spending it on or why he even has it...you'll have to sit him down and ask him. But do it nicely...no need to confront or be angry or assume the worst. Sometimes, just discussing unusual behaviors with a loved one, works it's way out. The goal is to have a calm, relaxed discussion to find out what is going on. If there is committment, caring, trust and respect, he should be able to tell you with no unfounded allegations or recrimination from you. Stay calm and just ask him. Tell him what you know, then sit back and listen. If you have a trusting relationship which has been caring, then he should be open and forward in his answer to you. If he can't tell you and gets defensive, then that should be a red flag, to you. How you proceed from there is how he responds to your concerns. I will say that honesty and truthfulness is crucial in all successful relationships.
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