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age
30-35,
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writes: my bf is going to Peru to visit his family for the summer but i just found out he has to stay there for a year. weve been going together for 4 months but i dotn know if i can wait for him like that. what should i do?? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2008): go with him thats what i say. get all the family in on the action.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2008): I have been abroad 4 times. Twice I stayed faithful and now I regret it. Other times I cheated, other times we broke up and at least once the guy cheated too. If you tell him you want to stay together and be faithful, you are limiting his experience abroad. He will not learn Spanish as well because he will be tied to you, thinking in English and talking to you in his head. It is not fair that he makes you wait. The fact that he is going probably means you too are at different stages in your life, or still looking for experience before you settle down. Give your self room to experience too! Also, if you both wait a year and do not become involved with anyone seriously you can always get back together! that would be a great test to your relationship. Remember, if you stay together, he might and you might regret some opportunity you missed out on while you could have been taking a break-you might always wonder what if there is something better for me out there. If you stay together and break up later, after his return, you will wonder why you waited for him. Also, do you really trust him--in a country that he wants to get to know, where they have discos and bars and exotic young women. A lot of people on study abroad trips cheat and don't tell--or at least seriously consider it. Break up--if you want--get back together in the end. you are already saying you don't know if you can wait--respect him and his studies and tell him what I have told you.
PS Today I am a Spanish teacher and have hosted college and highschool trips abroad...have seen this situation x100.
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A
male
reader, PeterPan  +, writes (29 May 2008):
 I'm not sure what you're asking here... are you worried that you might be unfaithful in a year's time, or you're worried about being away from him for all that time.
If it's the second one, then I might suggest possibly visiting him in Peru about halfway through his year long trip. Say in 6 months, you visit him for Christmas for your entire winter break. That way, you'll have effectively split your time apart by half.
Of course, there's always phone calls, email and video to keep you connected as well.
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