A
female
age
36-40,
*indiair
writes:I have been with my boyfriend a year I'm 23 and he's 24. He says he loves me everyday and we spend lots of time together. We do have arguments but mostly about silly things that we can laugh about soon after. I just worry so much about his past...before we got together he was a bit of a 'ladies man' he's very good looking and has a part time job in a bar so he often has girls trying it on with him. He's a natural flirt - but so am I and I would never do anything to risk harming our relationship. The main problem is that he is in contact with many of the girls he had flings with in the past. He works with 4(at different jobs), goes to uni with 1 and even his hairdresser is one of his exes. Even that I reckon I could cope with - its the fact that every time I'm out - with him or without him at least one of the girls I know he's been with is there. Its tearing me appart as I cant help but compare myself to them. He tries to reassure me but I'm sick of it - even when we go out to totally new places one of them turns up. He doesn't really know how much it upsets me because I don't want to seem jealous. He would be really upset if he thought I didn't trust him. I just know too much about his past (due to having mutual friends) I know he's treated girls badly in the past by cheating on one and getting others hopes up for a relationship when he just wanted a fling. I know he emailed one of them apologising for his behaviour, when we had been together for a few months. but even though this email seemed innocent enough he did say that she was 'hot' he said: 'sorry for the way I was with you, I was an idiot, think you're great and you're hot just wasn't the right time, keep in touch' ...........why did he have to say that to her? He's really not a bad guy and he's really lovely with me - he just went off the rails for a couple of years. I am sure he wouldn't want to hurt me and I know he is serious about our relationship. (in fact he's much better at telling me how he feels than I am telling him) I so just want to be able to trust him completely and I do feel like he won't physically cheat on me I just have a feeling that his cheekiness and flirting will give the girls the wrong impression and will be-little our relationship. I'm so scared of getting hurt and his past doesn't really do him any favours. what do you think I should do? please help x x x x x x x
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flirt, his ex, jealous Reply to this Question
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female
reader, sexxymama212  +, writes (4 June 2008):
Honey, i don't want to worry you any more than you already are but my ex-fiancee is the same way. when we go out there are always at least one of his ex's there. one night i didn't go and he cheated on me w/one of his 'old' friends. i sincerely hope your situation turns out better than mine. but don't let this ruin what you have right now.
A
female
reader, mindiair +, writes (3 June 2008):
mindiair is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks jen, i know this deep down its just hard to keep in mind when 2 of these girls were out in the same place as us at the weekend.
he has said to me himself that its me thats special that why our relationship is more than a fling and that he fancies me more than any of those girls.
you are right I really do need just to get over it and start enjoying our relationship.
Do you have any tips to help me get them out of my head? x x x x
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