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female
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anonymous
writes: Ive been dating my boyfriend for about 9 years now. We are so great together and I love him very much. He says he loves me too and we have made plans to get engaged and married in the future. The only thing thats gets me upset is how is talks to so many girls. He says that they are just his friends but they text him a lot.I feel like I can trust him for the most part but I know he has a flirty personality. They leave him messages on facebook to hangout this weekend and it gets me upset. I dont trust girls but I dont want to be a controlling girlfriend and tell him he cant talk to them. I get really upset and then start to doubt how he truly feels about me. Its starting to affect our relationship. I dont want to lose him but Im starting to feel like its getting to us because I do get upset and ask him if he really does care. He says that weve gone over it so many times but I still dont know what I should think and it doesnt convince me much. I love him and I feel like he does love me. Is this my problem or his? What should I do? sorry this is so long!All advice would be extremely appreciated!! thank you!
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female
reader, Lemonpixie  +, writes (6 November 2006):
 Well unless they are saying "Hey Baby see you at my house soon" you can't really get mad. If he's hanging out with girls more than you, you might want to let him know that hurts you. But people are entitled to befriend any gender. Don't get me wrong I'm not too fond when my beau becomes close to other girls, however unless i see she likes him with my own 2 eyes i don't say a thing. I've had girls try and put a wedge between my beau and I and I let him know thats it don't be friends with her if you want to keep me, because i'm not the fighting type! And he did! So if everything looks kosher you can't really complain all that much, otherwise you will just be driving him away. But keep an eye out for certain things, and also go and hangout with him an dthese girls... if you're really sweet and friendly it may sometimes deter them from coming on to your man. If he refuses to hang out with you and these girls together, something may be fishy. But it's best to review the situation in real life then over the internet because it's difficult to see inflections and impossible to see body language which is the biggest tell anyone has.
Good luck, hope it turns out ok.
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