A
female
age
30-35,
*bbiisawesome666
writes:I've been dating this guy for 8 months now, and I love him to death. There is just this one thing that drives me nuts about him... his jealousy issues. I really don't know what to do. He gets jealous at every little thing I do. He accuses me of flirting with his brother so now he doesnt trust me with his brother. He says he trust me, not him. And this is just the begining of it. Anytime I talk to a guy he gets pissed. He says I have a "flirty attitude". I talk to everyone the same. He got mad one time because i hugged someone. It was a one-armed hug. Not anything intimate. He's the only guy I hug with my whole body. He also got pissed off one time because I complimented some guys eyes. I know it was wrong, but it was nothing serious. I just thought they were pretty. My boyfriend has some gorgeous eyes. It wasn't anything to get pissed off at. He also got mad that I got paired up with a guy for a project in one of my college classes. The way the teacher paired up the students was by ABC order. So I couldnt help but get paired up with this guy. He always asked me if I went off somewhere with him and had sex and cheated on him. I would never do that. He always asked me that. It just stresses me out. He asks everyone's opinions about what we argue about, and they tell them the same exact thing I tell him. why doesnt he listen?What do I say to convince him to not be this jealous?
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (16 June 2010):
 Jealousy or trying to control?
This type of behaviour often leads to the victim isolating themselves and so becoming totally controlled and dependant.
His jealousy will never go away because it is not based on reality but on his insecurity. If you spend all your time at home, he would accuse you of an affair with the milk man. If you were on an island without men, he would accuse you of being a lesbian. If you were alone on the moon, he would still think of something.
Because he is not jealous, he is insecure and seeks to control those around him. Stop doing school projects, stop talking to other people, totally do what I say or else you are cheating on me.
Can you fix this? No, not really. Because it ain't about you, the issue is in his head. How he sees other people and indeed himself.
If you stay with him, he has no reason to fix himself, and if you don't then he has been proven correct that you can't be trusted. A catch 22.
He probably doesn't even realize that the problem is with him and anyone who tells him he is in the wrong here will be attacked one way or another. Don't believe me? Try it. tell him his jealousy/insecurity is all in his own head. No way he will accept that, at least not without laying a guild trip on you and everyone else.
A
female
reader, abbiisawesome666 +, writes (16 June 2010):
abbiisawesome666 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHis brother is younger than him. My boyfriend is 20 and his brother just turned 18. I'm about to be 19.
He is only a friend. The only thing we have in common is taste in music. His brother isn't my type. I'm just tired of getting accused of flirting with him.
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A
female
reader, abbiisawesome666 +, writes (16 June 2010):
abbiisawesome666 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHis brother is younger than him. My boyfriend is 20 and his brother just turned 18. I'm about to be 19.
He is only a friend. The only thing we have in common is taste in music. His brother isn't my type. I'm just tired of getting accused of flirting with him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2010): Wow! I been dating my boyfriend for 8 months and I have the same
problem and he accuses me of flirting wit his older brother as well. isn't it anoying?
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A
female
reader, gizzymylove +, writes (16 June 2010):
 Ok I have been in the same spot please take this to heart stop it now stand up for your self tell him you love him but he doesn't show you love when he acts like that all he is doig is saying your a ho with out the balls of coming out and saying it so jump is attitude make a stand if he doesnt get on board tell him to get counseling move on get out of that bull crap while your still young
best of luck
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