A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My bf and I have known each other for about 11 years. We have been living together for the last 4 or 5 years. When we first started dating, we were both just happy and excited to be together...really enjoyed each others company. He used to frequently take me out to eat,shopping,etc.About a year or so after this, he stops or slacks off on doing any of this really.. He says " he doesnt like shopping". In 2011, I had our 1st and only child. About a month or 2 ago, he was diagnosed with depression. He was precribed medicine until he could get in to see a depression specialist...he ended up only taking a weeks worth of pills... His excuse, I dont wanna get hooked on them".. I understand that, but how did he know exactly whether or not he would in fact get hooked on them. He was suppoaed to take them for a whole mth...So now he still has mood swings..isolate himself from me and our daughter...He barely makes time for us when he gets home.. When were in the car, all he does is daydream. We barely touch each other or kiss or anything intimate..Before dinner and after dinner, he is on the phone watching youtube videos. I try to make convo, he wont really look at me. When he does respond, the answer are really short...not interested reponses...When I put our daughter to bed, and want one on one tike with him, he doesnt pay me any attention... When its time to go to bed, thats exactly what he wants alot of the time: to go to bed!I feel like he is losing interest...He sas he is still in love with me. But idk. Thoughts?
View related questions:
his ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (5 September 2018):
 It is difficult dealing with depression both for him and you. But if he is not willing to help himself then it is not fair on you and your daughter. He should really have stuck with taking the pills for a month, he wouldn't have got hooked on them on such a small period of time. It just sounds like an excuse he is using.
I would say wait until he sees the specialist and hopefully his mood will improve.
However make sure you look after your own happiness. Go shopping with friends, enjoy time away from your boyfriend. If he is not willing to do anything then he can look after your daughter while you go out and enjoy life.
It might be a hard conversation to have but you need to ask him is he still wanting to be with you, it is not fair if you are not getting anything from the relationship. You need to put your own feelings out there as well and tell him what you need from him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2018): Have you considered that it's not just depression; maybe your relationship has run its course?
You've known each other for a long-time; but the relationship has now fallen into decline. He's uninterested in you, and his own daughter. Although this is symptomatic of his depression; it may also be what attributes to his condition. He wants to leave you, and can't figure-out how to do it.
He could still love you and his daughter; but he may no longer be in-love with you.
He may stay to avoid the cost of having his own place and separate bills; while paying child-support. He also loses a live-in cook and maid-service. Even if he gives nothing back; you're still a benefit that isn't easy to give-up!
Being somewhere you don't want to be is like imprisonment. Holding-on to someone when you can clearly see they're distant and unavailable should prepare you; and you must do what is best for you and your child. Right now, he is there in body; but not in-mind. You can blame depression; but depression does not stop people from loving you and demonstrating the fact. He refuses to even do anything about his depression!
If his depression is that bad; yet he won't submit to treatment for it, you have to let him go. His fear of addiction to his medication shouldn't outweigh the benefit of his recovery from using it.
His logic is skewed. Either that, or he's full of it! I wager to think both!
...............................
|
