A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid, I have been dating a man for nearly a year now and our sex life is great. I feel love for him and he for me, but this is now feeling strained for me. He constantly feels the need to tell me what to do, how to do it when to do it, how I'm not doing it right, etc. This constant lecturing is wearing on my last nerves and I have told him so. How can I set a boundary with him and get him to stop giving me advice all the time. I know I',m not perfect, and he is very smart, but God this is getting old......thanks for some help!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (14 April 2008):
 Thank you for your kind thoughts.
It is very nice of you to give me 4 stars.
I am very touched by your generosity.
Your partner may not listen to words and walking away when you
feel that he has broken your boundaries is the best.
It is a kind of silent, non confrontational and affirmative
actions. He should get the message.
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (14 April 2008):
 Hi,
You may very well be one of the few people in the world who can live with a controlling personality.
but you then have to ask yourself is it worth it? Is this person worth all the effort, then ask yourself what will happen if your situation changes. ie. if you become more vulnerable, you get pregnant, lose a job etc. These personality types thrive on disaster as they can then reassert their possesive controlling ways more effectively.
Personally, in your situation I wouldnt bother, I have seen too many nice girls being dragged down by controlling arseholes to have much sympathy for these types.
You are over 30 so I guess he is as well, I dare say you are not going to have much luck getting him to rein in his behaviour.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey Laura,
I was going to give your answer a four star but after I clicked one it dissapeared and said "thanks"! Thanks you for the answer. I do have trouble settimg boudaries with people.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (13 April 2008):
If you are in a relationship , you try to please each other as best as you can.
However , there is a limit to every thing.
There is a point of tolerance and you should not go beyond that .
When you reached that point, the other partner should realized that or be told .
If he does not stop , you will have to walk away .
This is an effective way to stop that nonsense.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (13 April 2008):
You've told him to stop and if he doesn't then you have to think about whether he is worth it.
Every time he starts telling you what to do - tell him off. He may not even realise he's doing it. It could just be a habit he has because he's trying to be helpful but it comes across wrong. Ignore him and do it your own way and tell him to back off.
If he is a controlling kind of guy and won't stop telling you to do things though, then it will wear you down and break you over the years.
I wouldn't want to be with a man like that. The first thing you said about him was that he was great in bed. Is that really the main point of your feelings for him? Is that worth all the crap he gives you? I think not.
Good Luck!! xx
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