A
female
age
26-29,
*lithely
writes:So, my boyfriend(23) forgot my birthday. I(20) forgave him because we had only been going out for a couple of months and I know he's terrible with dates. I'm not the kind of girl who believes in soul mates and gets all hung up on one guy. I'm emotionally stable and have a healthy amount of respect for myself. I've always made it a point to focus on my personal ambitions and avoid the idea of marriage entirely. But I am absolutely positive this man is the one I'm supposed to be with, for infinite reasons that cannot be explained otherwise. The problem is, now HIS birthday is coming up and I have absolutely no idea what to do. Should I just wish him a happy birthday and get him nothing? Should I get him something small and, if so, what? We're planning on spending the weekend together for his birthday and I will also be meeting his parents during his celebratory dinner. I'm soooooo clueless as to what to do in this situation. Please help?!
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (2 August 2015):
 Happy belated Birthday Blithely.
Hope your next year birthday is celebrated in style.
Emotion aside I think he had better make it up to you sometime in the future re the birthday and choose as well on ANY special day to make the day special for you, and on ... Christmas.... Valentine's day and on your next Birthday.
Don't allow him to be the receiver always and you the giver always.
Those who only take but do not give sadly often end up with a giver who hopes that the taker will one day be as generous. Often the taker will not.
I agree with Hollyhock. It would be wrong to go completely overboard on his birthday.
Certainly get him a card.
Meeting his parents means that it would be nice if you gave his mother some flowers as a welcome present. That he wants you to meet his parents is a very good sign that he does care about you.
Slipped into his Birthday card you could include an App for his phone -
Google for Android and App through I-tunes both have Apps that can installed on a phone to remind him of important dates. Such as birthdays and anniversaries. Even his Mom might appreciate the irony of this present, just in case he also forgets her birthday.
It also all depends on his interests. Though do not go overboard.
Is he into sport?
Does he like cooking? Cooks can always think of something they need, but do not yet have
Or into music? https://www.thinkgeek.com/gifts/ have some gorgeous fountain speakers on special
Or enjoy a glass of good wine? which type of wine?
Does he have hobbies? Is there anything he would appreciate in that area?
Does he read and if so what? - a Book store vouchers might suffice.
Hope that helps
Regards
Abella
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 August 2015):
 Since your relationship is fairly new I get that you can be totally OK with him forgetting. Just don't let it become a habit.
You know his hobbies, favorite sports, comic characters or whatever he likes (outside of you, friend and family) - then find something NOT too expensive, but something that shows you "pay" attention and care. T-shirts are always cool and if he is into some or other fandom (does he have Tumblr/Instagram/Facebook ? you can heck those out for ideas as well)
If you know his siblings or friends you could ask them for advice in what to get/what he likes.
And belated happy birthday to you!
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A
female
reader, Hollyhock  +, writes (1 August 2015):
Did your boyfriend know when your birthday was? Or did you not mention it and hope that he would remember? In the early stages of a relationship you can't always assume that your new partner knows the dates of significant events. So if you didn't mention that your birthday was coming up and just hoped that he would remember, then don't fret too much. If you did tell him and he forgot, then you can gently tell him that you are sad that he didn't remember your birthday.However, you are in the early stages of your relationship, so balls get dropped and dates get overlooked. If you're still together next year, he really should remember your birthday and make a fuss of you. But make sure he knows when it's coming up.In the meantime, don't go overboard for his birthday with expensive presents. If you think that he may not have realised that he missed your birthday, you could suggest that you have a day/evening out on his birthday at something that you both enjoy. Tell him that, as the two of you didn't celebrate your recent birthday on X date then you can make this day/evening out a joint birthday celebration.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2015): By the way, a belated happy birthday to you sweetie!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2015): You have only been going out a couple of months; so I'd say it was nice of you to forgive him, this once. He is just getting to know you basically, and everything about you is new to him. Including your birthday. Somehow, you remembered his; but you shouldn't really go overboard about it. Things are already planned; so you go along with the plan and get a small and simple gift. Just as a token of your affection.
He should have made it up to you, if he's aware he forgot your birthday. His seems important enough to him to want you to be a part of his dinner celebration. I find it odd that he made no effort after he was aware that he missed it; unless you never really mentioned your birthday was coming up, or just casually brought it up. It was still his opportunity to show you it means something to him. Most guys know their girlfriend's birthday, and they do something special. If they miss it, they still should go out of their way to show how sorry they are and to try and fix it. Then forgiveness is truly justified, and you take a little of the hurt away. Unless she's unreasonable about it.
Did anyone else make any effort for your birthday? You don't say anything about your family or other friends. Did everyone else forget? Did you do anything special for yourself? Sweetheart, always plan something to please yourself on your birthday. If anyone else dear to you forgets, you've already done something on that day that makes you happy.
It's very early in your relationship; so it is important that you have a good line of communication between you.
Your boyfriend should know the things that are important to you, and he should also know when he has hurt your feelings.
Most importantly, he should care.
You don't have to dramatize or pout; but you should tell him if you were a little hurt that he didn't remember. I don't buy it, when people make the excuse they aren't good with dates. We have smart phones, iPads, computers, and smart watches that remind us of everything we find important to us. I bet he knows when the next Comic con is coming to your area. Place some responsibility on him to please you, and set the example by doing what you like from the heart to please him. That keeps balance in a good relationship.
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