A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years already. Everything started in a random way because we used to work together in the same hotel, he in the kitchen and me in the restaurant. He asked me 3 or 4 times to got for some drinks with him but I was having a bad time because I had just broken with my ex boyfriend few months ago, but he kept asking me and finally we went to have some drinks together, well with more people from work. Everything was ok, I loved the sex with him and we used to have fun together. Well after few moths meeting once or twice per week, I went for holiday for 2 weeks and when I came back we saw each other again and talked about what was going on between us. We agreed we liked each other and we were fine like that, sleeping together sometimes, he used to ask me how many guys I usually sleep with, something which I found a bit rude coz it made me feel like I had a long list of guys waiting for me!. Well everything was going well until I'll say, we decided to be a formal couple, because both of us we had had bad relationships in the past and didn't want to go too fast, that was in November or December 2013. About 2 months later, it was 2014 already, we stopped having good sex and everything started being a bit boring, however we met more frequently and started spending more time together more like a couple, I mean, have dinner together, go to the cinema and all this stuff, everything was nice and i really liked it because I always had lack of this things with my past relationships in which the sex was really good but I didn't feel happy because I always felt they didn't give what I wanted or what I needed.Well, it has been like that for a year already, he is lovely with me, gives me cuddles, looks after me, buy me presents, calls me and texts me everyday. Well everything looks like is perfect but we do not have sex for around 3 or 4 months, I don't even remember last time. Last times we have had sex, it isn't good at all, because it was like I forced him to do it, and I feel terrible for that and I'm not happy 100% because of that. So, it has been like that for a while, and I do not what to do. I have spoken with him and I tried my best, my it is not easy for me to talk about this stuff because my first language is not English and I have to be careful about what to say and how because I do not want to hurt him at all.Well, the reason he always says it is he is not happy with his body because he got fat and he doesn't want even to be naked in front of me. I like him even if he is a bit fatter but all this situation makes me really frustrated. I used to think there was another girl or something like that but the thing is he doesnt have even time for that and I really belive he is not this kind of gusy who cheats girls, at least he doesnt look like. After many times having conversations about this issue which it looks like it is just something I can see because he apparently is ok without sex. Well I have been thinking about what I should do and if I should just break up and stop trying and trying, but the thing is I like him, I like many things he does to me and although he doesn't like talking about his personal life, the fact is most of the guys are like that and I believe it is something you cannot change or expect he changes, the fact is nobody is perfect! Haha.The thing I do not know what to do, because I really thing he is a worthy person and he obviously likes me and he doesnt want me just because of the sex like I always thought when guys were with me. He gives me many things that nobody has given me so far, but the weird and unbelievable thing for me it is he can be in bed with me and I can be almost naked or wearing nice clothes and he is not horny at all and I think I can put my boobs or my ass in front of him that he doesn't react! I even thought he was gay like most of my friends thought, but he said, because I asked him about, he is not. The thing is I usually get angry when I am horny and I try to turn him up and I feel like an idiot because I do know how to do it or what to do. I have never had this problem before because I am quite hot and I like being dirty in bed but I dont know what happen to us, i think we are not coordinate in bed. It is like for example, not we are in a hotel and we are in bed and I'm almost naked and yes he is close to me and giving me cuddles but I really wish he took me and lift me up and fuck me! Is that a big deal? I sometimes feel I do not have a boyfriend I have a teddy bear! I'm a hot girl and I could chase many guys, he says he likes me but I dont know what happen to him,I dont want to overthinking about but I'm just getting sick of feeling bad because he doesn't make me feel like a woman. His plan is going to Thailand, he had lived before there, he likes travelling and I agree with that he is going to stay there in a kind of camp to get fit and do boxing and he has asked me to go to visit him and he even told me to go to live together to my country but I cannot see the future if the present is like that, is that weird or bad? I do not have doubt he wants to be with me.My life is fine, I love my work and I live where I want although my family is far away but still happy. Please, give me your opinions or suggestions about.
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (16 March 2015):
 If you and he don't have common ground relative to the S/S and I between you (that's Sensuality, Sexuality and Intimacy)... then you can reconcile to yourself that you and he are not sufficiently "in sync" to make it as a couple. Sorry, but it just works out that way... and seems to be so every time I've read of it, here....
Good luck.. with your NEXT "B/F".....
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2015): I guess the answer to your question lies in how long you are willing to go without sex with your boyfriend? If he doesn't like his weight, what is he doing about it?
If you're settling for cuddles and stick around, he's going to get comfortable with that and do nothing about his weight, and you've already gone two months just being friends.
You can't force sex on anybody he doesn't want it. That's really difficult to do with a man, because he has to get an erection in order to perform sex. If nothing you do seems to around him, I guess time and frustration will force you to breakup with him.
Ask your boyfriend to see his doctor about the weight-gain to make sure he doesn't have a glandular disease, or erectile dysfunction he has avoided discussing with you.
Guys don't just instantly stop having sex unless something is mentally or physically impairing their ability to get an erection.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHow I feel right now and what I want to tell him in this moment, next morning in the hotel room, he heard me cry last night,I just felt down coz i dont know what else to do, I was almost naked, was trying to be sexy n attractive for you to like you and u didnt react at all, i dont know if u even looked at me. I dont know how to make you desire me and turn you up. When I said yesterday you are "too boyfriend" i meant you dont have dirty feeling towards me and that's the thing which makes me feel really frustrated coz u dont jump on me anymore in a dirty way. Yes u give me cuddles, hugs and all this stuff, it is nice and I love it but sometimes I need dirty things I need to feel you can loose your mind because you need to touch me and make me love. I dont think you have that feelings towards me, that's why I feel down and I need to cry coz I cannot understand, we are in a hotel room whit a big a nice bed, there is no flatmates or people who know us around. I have fun with you, having dinner and shopping and I just wanted to have fun in bed and laugh, i thought to have a drink it could help but you didn't want to drink coz u drank the night before. I need you to tell me what I am doing wrong or what I can do or it is just that, you don't feel horny towards me and you just want to be like that, like a teddy bear w me
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