| A
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I am being unfair and I know it. I am still completly carzy about my ex. we usd to fight alot, and we were togther for almost two years, but he lives in a differnt continet. And he is th one person who understands me compltly. we broke up 5 months ago cause of the distance and other issues. Now, i have been seeing someone very sweet for two months and he cares about me. and i like him, but i dont know how to take this relationship cause we both know we have to break up in 4 months (I am moving to another country). And I have been in touch with my ex and he has been telling me he still loves me. and now, as you can see i am extremely confused. I lik ethis new guy, and i find it worth it being with him, but i cant talk to him because he doesnt know how to be "boyfriend like"-such as he stays three days without calling or sending any vital signs of life, or when i send him an email he responds to it very superficially. my question kinda lis in, should i talk to the new one about my concerns about our relationship, despite it being 'timed'? and if so, when? cause im travelling and i wont be seeing him for a month. so should i wait? Thanks to all who had the time to read and answer!!
View related questions:
broke up, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI understand where you are coming from,
Many hve told me that for me to be healthy in a relationship I have to like it. I have to understand what i like and what i dont. so when i said "good" i mant it in m perspctive obviously. and I am tolrent to his, but do you really think this is being good? Not calling me for three days whil we are on vacation? not asking me how I am? always talking about superficial stuff and not getting any deeper?
with the other one, we fougt a lot yes, but that was because my family got in the way, and because we barely saw each other cause of his job (he was always traveling) and other stuff, but in the end we knew that it wasnt us us fighting, but rather the situation getting to us, which is why we broke up in the first place.
so why question still is should i tell my current bf how i am feeling towards his actions or should I shut up and let things be?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2009): Do you really know how a boyfriend is supposed to be? How did you become such an expert, yet are in such a confused state? You say the 1st dude understood you completely, yet you fought all the time? Doesn't sound like either of you understood each other.
Maybe you need some clarity on the definition of a good, healthy relationship. Start there. Do research. Interview couples who have been married 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 years. What is the common thread?
It takes more than "love" for a relationship to succeed. Over 50% of couples in love end in divorce. Instead of critiquing these men on what kind of boyfriends they are, may I suggest you start looking within yourself. What is your objective? Are you developing your character, and also looking for a man of character? Try living without either dude & work on yourself .. it will pay off.
...............................
|
