A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been together with my boyfriend for about four months now. We were together a year ago for 9 months but we were never really truly together because he was going through a divorce and said he would never have another girlfriend or get married again. I stuck by him and hung out with him almost every night though any way because his sister and I were best friends so it made it easy to have an exscuse to hang out, I slept with him most nights though exept when his kids were around. He has 2 children and is a very quite person until you know him. One night I was going to go over there to his house until his sister told me not to because there was another girl over there. I was very mad and sent him some mean text messages and severed ties. I then moved out of the state for a while. I came back down to visit for a baby shower and decided to go see his sister. He was there and of course I had to initiate conversation with him. We ended up getting pretty drunk and hanging out all night. The next day I called him and asked him if he wanted to hang. We ended up hanging out and he said that he missed me. I told him that I had the opportunity to come back if he wanted me to. He said he did. He actually came to my state and moved me back and now I pretty much live with him. Already though things are not going how I planned. He doesn't feel the need to check in or tell me what's going on and he text messages people none stop. He even told me that his ex was trying to get back with him even though he promised he would never. He has told me before that I have nothing to worry about but I feel that if he truly loved me he would go out of his way to say nice things to me more often and clue me in on what's going on. For example he is working out of town right now and has not called me in days, I had to text him first. Then I found out yesterday that his phone had died and he did not have his charger from his friend but when I called him today it just kept ringing, it did not go to voice mail like yesterday. I just don't think that he really truly gives a crap, every time I bring something up to him he rolls his eyes and says oh what now? Am I waisting my time? He is also 32 and had two children. I have not been in to many relationships and I feel like I'm going crazy because I don't know what's going on and if I'm over reacting.
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female
reader, iknowwhatyoufeel  +, writes (30 May 2009):
sweetheart he is not worth my so called boyfriend has been lying and cheating on me for 5 years and today just now it dawned on me that what i knew was true, he said he was palyn pool but.......sent the message to (not meant to be for me) he is out with someone else. i always thought it. get away from him is worthless i feel like that now and its because of him
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2008): Vow, this is difficult; I am going to give you my honest opinion and suggestions from what I read in your posting; not to hurt or upset you; BUT to try and help you to get presepctive on the situation.
You have always been a convenient friend and anchor to him; yet he messed around behind your back;
you came back for him; you are devoted to him;
BUT
he is not that "devoted" to you;thre could be numerous reasons, BUT I think this guy is just not that "into you".
I think this guy is "using" you; he knows you are there for him; although he is offering you almost nothing in return;
I am so sorry if this sounds 'harsh" BUT, I think you need to distance yourself from this guy; from the entire situation;
Let me ask you this: If a friend of yours had to be in your situation and asked you for advise; what would your answer be?
I suggest you distance yourself from this guy a little; emotionally and physically; let him do the "running"; vow, if he really wants you and wants to share his life with you, he must "fight" for you; give him a little reason to get worried; to be a little concerned; if he is not scared of losing you; vow, then he honestly have only been using you;
I also suggest you take stock of the situation; You deserve the best; you should be with somebody that wants to make you happy; somebody to whom your needs and wants are important; In life it is give and take;
You have so much to offer and you DESERVE the best;
DO you really want to settle with some second best? Are you happy to hang around waiting for him; whilst your biological clock is ticking, knowing he has children and it might not be an issue of importance to him anymore?
Those are the questions only YOU can answer; BUT you have to think very carefully;
I suggest you think of yourself; do what is best for you and your FUTURE.
Best wishes and lost of SMILES.
...............................
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