A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for half a year. He was with his ex for 3-4 years up to the point we met and starting going out. Their breakup was mutual. With me, he made the first move to initiate a serious relationship. A week into it...he cheated on me with his ex. He admitted he still had feelings for her but was getting over them. I forgave because it was so early on in our relationship...we moved on.I never asked him to cut off communication from his ex because I figured it was obvious. Recently, I found that they were texting on and off for a period of a few weeks (and then stopped). It was nothing that indicated cheating but he seemed nostalgic ("we had good times didn't we?") but nothing more. She told him not to dwell on the past and to learn from their mistakes...but she sent him pics of herself with the message. Nothing racy...but why? Narcissistic much? I confronted him about it (and admitted I had read his texts/email) and he told me that when they weren't texting...his feelings for her went away, but when they started talking again...they came back. He said they were still less than they were back when he cheated...but they were there. I told him that if he wanted to continue this relationship he would have to cut ALL ties with her and that he needed to email her to tell her he's moving on and that it would be best if they stopped communicating. He did and he promised to stop speaking with her.That same night he changed his passwords. I understand he might have been annoyed that I was checking on him...but is it something more?I need to know if having residual feelings for an ex like this is normal. Is it just the byproduct of a long term relationship having ended? I would think if you truly loved someone then feelings wouldn't subside just because you weren't speaking as his did. But I need your opinions badly. Can we move past this? Can he forget her?
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cheated on me, his ex, move on, period, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (21 April 2008):
 It depends on your relationship with him.
If you can meet all his needs, his ex may fade away.
If there are problems in your relationship ,
he maybe tempted to go back to his ex.
He should not have any contact whatsoever with his ex or he
will never forget her or move on with you.
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