A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for 2 months. Everything seems to be good, except when it comes to the weekend. He spends EVERY weekend with his parents, without exception. He drives home from the city where we both live (separately, of course) to stay at his parents house. I try making plans in advance for the weekend, I always ask what he's doing on Friday, and he's always "not sure". When it comes down to it, he usually ends up spending most of the weekend with his parents and a few hours on Sunday with me. I feel stupid even thinking this, but I can't believe a 27 year old man wants to spend more time with his parents than with his girlfriend! He only recently moved out of their house, and his mom still does his laundry! I love my family too, but I've lived on my own for almost 8 years and I drive back to see them once or twice a month. Is there something weird about this guy, or am I being too insecure? Help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2008): From my experience of men of those type they will anticipate their girlfriends eventually taking over where 'Mummy' left off (in terms of washing and ironing etc) however do not underestimate the power of the parents in your relationship. You are right - he should have left home if finances allow and it is natural for people to move towards independence long before 27. If finances did not allow he should be house-sharing with people his own age. Give it 4 months (thats 6) and then if he is not suggesting he either moves out from them or you two start thinking of being together more then leave him. Maybe in the meantime you could think of ways to make his arrangement a bit more difficult or provoke him to think. Such as suggesting you go somewhere that involves getting back really late Saturday night into sunday morning etc. You will know what this could be.... but think very carefully as what he is doing is stretching the point at this age. I sounds as though you would be more satisfied by a man who is already living his own life and you can respect for what he has achieved in terms of his independence. Are you dating the wrong kind of guy?
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