A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi all.Normally I can usually use reason and level-headed thinking when I talk to my boyfriend, but at this point I'm not sure what to do.Straight out- I'm bisexual. I know this (duh), my close friends know this, my boyfriends know this. My parents don't, but that's another can of worms.None of my friends have a problem with it, and I don't suffer from any sort of identification problems.Therein lies the...erm, problem. My boyfriend does.He has a big issue with it. He tries to play it down, he tries hard to see it from my point of view, but I know it's hard for him. I think part of the reason is he thinks I'll just waltz off and date a girl or something and leave him. I think that's insane, as he is easily the sweetest caring guy ever. I'm not planning on leaving anytime in the foreseeable future.Being as he isn't have comfortable with it, I don't parade the fact around him...but sometimes, he'll stumble onto something that will remind him of the fact, and he gets sad and confused.I'm getting sad and confused too...to find that something as inconsequential as my orientation is actually causing me problems with my boy.I love my boy, and I don't want him to be sad. But I can't exactly help who I am. He tries to understand as much as possible, but I know he can't help being sad sometimes.Is there something I can do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2008): Actually, I would feel fine. I actually discussed this with with him, what I would do if he found he was gay or bisexual.
I told him that if he was gay I'd support him and if he were bisexual i'd really not care as he was with me.
Thanks for the the answers. I'm going to continue to drill it in him that I love him. It does get disheartening though.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2008): I wonder how you would feel, really feel, if he told you he was bisexual. Probably not as whatever as you sound now.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2008): Fact is, being bi gives you more chances to meet and fall for someone. He's afraid of that. But if he was confident in the relationship he shouldn't be feeling like this, just keep drilling into him that being bi dosen't mean your going to sleep around, tell him you thought he thought more of you than that. Like you said, being bi is part of who you are, if he keeps denying that then this relationship will be in trouble later down the line.
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