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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I need advice on how to deal with an over sensitive boyfriend... I've been with my boyfriend for a few months now but I dont know how long it will last. I never thought I would be complaining about a guy being sensitive but he really is a big baby. Ive been with a few guys before and they were super macho, mens men, which I didnt like because I never knew what was going on in there heads but with this new guy, I have to constantly walk on egg shells around him. He reads into every little thing, not returning his calls instantly (even though I might be very busy), or if we meet up and Im tired he automatically presumes that I dont want to see him...basically EVERY LITTLE DAMN THING!!! He's driving me mad, I love him dearly and otherwise I think we could have a brilliant long term relationship together but I cant take his over sensitive ways. How do I get him to realise thats hes being too sensitive and thats its damaging our relationship (with out hurting his feelings)??Thank you Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Amethyst  +, writes (10 January 2007):
 Trust me, the best thing to do is help him overcome his insecuraties. Tell him that you're not going to just one day end it and leave him oblivious about it. Let him know that, though you're happy with him, he's going to end up pushing you away because of his insecurities. A good way to break it to him is to sit down and have one of those heart-to-hearts, and ask him why he's so afraid you're going to leave him. Get him to talking, then tell him you're not just going to go out one day and say, "Hmm... that guy's hot. I'm bored with {insert current bf's name}.... I should try for that guy!" You wouldn't do that.... right? or tell him the truth about whatever his insecurities are. Sometimes, tough love is necessary in a relationship. I can guarantee if you tell him it's not going to happen, and you reassure him as much as you can that you love him and you don't want anyone else, and help him overcome his insecurities, that you will eventually help get him stop being a "baby."
Let him know by the way, that sensative is good when rationed. Boost his confidence, let him know that you don't care what other guys have and what he thinks he lacks. Point out things about him you love. These are just some suggestions, and I hope they help you!
A
female
reader, Lilly223 +, writes (10 January 2007):
 Personally I think a little effort from you to reassure him that you are NOT going anywhere, that you love him, that your intentions are good, and that there is no one else you would rather be with in this world more than him would do a world of good. Yes, he is insecure. Repeat this every day, and he will begin to believe it. Finding out what is behind his insecurities may help both of you understand his behavior. I realize it seems like a lot of work to contstanly 'stroke' his ego, but in the long run I believe it will be worth it, especially if it works. After this point it will only take a stroking' now and then to reinforce that feeling in him. He sounds like a very good man if you can say you love him dearly and belive you could have a brilliant long term relationship with him. He must be worth the effort right?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2007): hi
i have recently split up with a boyfrien whowas very similar.
He actually finished it with me claiming that he thought he loved me and in fact didnt, but during our time together he could become horrendously insecure in very similar way. If he text me while i was at work , (i work in two different dept's ) and i didnt reply within half hour he would send thing such as Whats the matter now , now what ihave i done?? to the point where i even took him into my place of work one weekend and showed him that in one dept i couldnt get reception on my phone!!! i gave him the direct line number and all sorts trying to convince him, but to no avail. So my advice is basically talk to him , but his insecurities are his not yours , until he figures these out and gets over them theres really not a great deal you can do. just keep talking and hopefully your boyfriend will learn.
good luck
xx
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A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (10 January 2007):
 You have seriously got to have a chat with your boyfriend and tell him whats on your mind. If your walking on egg shells around him, affraid to say anything incase you upset him is not healthy for any relationship.
I think this guy has got some serius insecurity issues that need to be addressed, and soon if the both of you want this relationship to work.
Like you say its driving you mad, and if he keeps on like this you will end up splitting up with him.
If you love him then talk to him and tell him how your feeling.
All the best of luck x
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