A
female
age
30-35,
*lueless..
writes:Hiya, Please Can Someone Help..My Best Friend And My Boyfriend Always Argue With Each Other Over Who Spends More Time With Me I Try To Spend An Equal amount of time with them both, but they still find a way to argue over me. One Night They Had A Really Huge Argument And Now Cant Stand Each Other. They Both Call Each Other Names Behind Each Other Backs, and im confused in what to do. Please Can Someone Help Me, I Just Want Them To Be Friends!?
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male
reader, maverick +, writes (1 May 2007):
 This likely comes from their feelings of of fear in losing you to the other one.
It's usually the person you have known longer that feels threatened. By not having you around thewill be losing contact with someone who provides support and comforts them as well as being good company (I'm flattering you aren't I?). They don't like change.
On the otherhand the person who hasn't known you the longest will feel the need to fight for your time. The will want to trigger a change in you routine so that you spend more time with them.
But both will not like each other regardless.
Let both of them know how you feel. Directly. Tell them how this situation bothers you and you are unhappy - ask them now how do they feel now that you told them how miserable you are about it. Explaining how you feel will make them feel bad & guilty about their behavivour (which they should do). This makes them start gearing their behaviour in reconciling/make-up kinda way between all three of you.
Next the name calling. It is unacceptable for your best friend/bf to bad mouth your best friend/bf - they are not respecting you or your choice of people who you hang around with. Tell them so. Let them know how you feel about it. Then ask them how feel now that they know they've made you unhappy.
This may seem like putting them on a guilt trip - in a way it is - but more importantly you want them to understand how you feel. If they feel bad and improve their behaivour then they aren't very respectful towards you.
A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (1 May 2007):
 These two people who claim to love you are putting you in a difficult position: you can't be expected to be able to choose between them and lose the other one! They need to grow up and learn to act like adults: no one's saying they have to like each other but there's no reason why, when they meet, they can't be civil to each other for your sake.
You need to talk to them about this and tell them how much this is upsetting you. They don't have to like each other, they just have to stay out of each others way. You should try and split your time between them but remember, guys will come and go but your mates will always be there so, if push comes to shove, always choose your mates.
If they are not prepared to get on, you have to tell them they both risk losing you. You want them both in your life and don't deserve all this drama, you want to enjoy your time with each of them. Good luck and I hope they listen.
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