A
female
age
41-50,
*ictoriaB
writes:Hello,Can someone please help with my problems...My bf and I have been together for the past 3 and a half years. I could never really trust him because even at the beginning of our relationship, before we were so close, he lied about small stuff such as being home when he wasn't and similar. As we grew closer and our relationship went on, he never stopped. He says that he does it because i am so jealous, controlling and that he says it so i don't trip. I've told him, million times, to tell me the truth and that i want to hear it and deal with it. That means that i might or might not necessarily like what he says or does. No one always does.At one point, i was going to leave him because of his lies and he swore up and down how he will stop and change and tell me what goes on and tell me the truth. Still, he lies. Only when he sees that i am serious about leaving, he admits that its wrong but thinks that i should be fine once he admits....He doesnt seem to ever stop. PLEASE HELP!What do you think?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2007): At the moment i am in the opposite situation. i have lied to my boyfriend about little things like who i got a text message off or avoided telling him who i went to lunch with.
He know feels we have serious trust issues and that if we do not have trust we do not have anything.
i have thought about why i lied to him and it is not because i would cheat on him or go behind his back it is just that i want to be everything to him, to be perfect so that he doesnt want anyone else. the little lies make me seem less imperfect and protect him from getting hurt.
i know now that it is not right and that it is always best to tell the truth or more to the point put the shoe on the other foot - if he lied about a text from the other sex how would i feel etc.
trust is not an easy thing to build but you need to be shown that he is at least trying - changing his phone number, proving he is home when he says by ringing you from home etc.
i know its easy to white lie thats why i thought i would say my side then it might make you understand. i hope it helps.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2007): Hey sweetie,
A relationship is built on trust, and to me it sounds like you can do so much better than this guy! If he lies about small things like that, than how can you trust him? And the lies are just gonna get bigger and bigger. My advice is to leave him. He has been lying to you even though you have asked him to stop, and that shows how much respect he has for you. Ditch this guy you deserve better! x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2007): hello, just wanted to give you some helpful advice!!! RUN,
people who lie over little things, in time them lies get bigger and bigger! You are still young you can fing somebody who will give you the respect you deserve! please thing about this!
PS THEY ALWAYS SAY THEY ARE SORRY AND THAT THEY WILL CHANGE USUALLY IT DOESN'T HAPPEN
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A
female
reader, swtbby44  +, writes (8 August 2007):
my mom used to say, once a lier always a lier. people dont change for anyone but themselves is what Ive been told and notice. have you read "women who love too much" by think it is miriam williamson. its a great book you will read over and over.
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