A
female
age
30-35,
*elebrity21
writes:Hi , I've been friends with this guy forever and now we're bestfriends.he always wanted a relationship with me but I refused cause I didn't want to ruin our friendship, now he hav found this girl who is serious about him, he starts treating me differently.i feel jealous and I don't know what to do I feel like I've lost him, he doesn't wanna really talk to Me help what can or should I do?
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (22 September 2014):
 He wanted - and made it clear to you - that he wanted, a deep(er) relationship with you, in the past....
You rejected that.
NOW, he has found some OTHER girl who hasn't rejected his advances.... AND - as a result - you are experiencing a difference in the way he acts toward you. (You KNOW that that reason is that he has found SOME OTHER girl who HASN'T rejected his advance(s)....) AND, you're jealous...
Sorry..... your train was at the station... you could have had a ticket to gotten on board... and chose not to (either buy the ticket or get on-board)..... so now he's given YOUR ticket to someone else... and SHE got on board.... and HE's quite content with matters as they are....
Sorry... and Good luck (in the future).....
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (21 September 2014):
 This is confusing to me(yeah, I know,guys don't understand this stuff)You thought a 'relationship' would ruin your friendship? If I wasn't friends with my wife I couldn't have a 'relationship. Goes against logic. He's either being spitefull to rub it in your face or is like me and will never understand that logic of" I just wanted to be friends, so I declined a 'relationship' Duhhh!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2014): The new girlfriend is most likely jealous, especially if you are best friends with him. If they are mature enough, he would bring you in and encourage a friendship with her, too. But females can be pretty jealous of each other - especially these days, and especially in the beginning of a relationship - and if she considers you attractive, that will make things even more threatening for her. (though it's not just females - I think if you had found a boyfriend, he would be threatened by your male best friend, too) I would suggest not constantly texting him or contacting him, as that will make things worse, especially if she's checking his texts/fb/email. Choose a time when she may not be around to talk to him and ask him why he it seems like he doesn't want to be friends, just to clear things up.
Also, he may just be really involved with her right now. The beginnings of being in love can make some people put everyone off for a while. You can suggest in the future getting together - the three of you - but do that in the future and give them some space.
Good luck! He may be preoccupied right now - whether it's short term or long term, I hope that you have other friends (especially female friends) that you can rely on - if not, make some other friends. Having male friends is a tricky slope, especially when either you or he gets involved with someone else.
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (21 September 2014):
If you turned him down, you aren't allowed to get jealous :)
I'm thinking, though, that maybe he kept up the friendship because he was hoping for more. Now he has that and so doesn't need the friendship that much. Some guys are like that, food for thought.
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A
female
reader, celebrity21 +, writes (21 September 2014):
celebrity21 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell that was not what I wanted to hear but thanks
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2014): You only feel this way because you're used to him having feelings only for you. Now he IS just a FRIEND; so now you have to get used to that. You don't own his feelings and you don't get to decide who he shares them with; or how. Friends aren't supposed to feel jealous, they're supposed to be happy for each other. If you can't be happy for him, and you can control your jealousy, then move on. I'm sure his new girlfriend wouldn't mind, if she senses your jealousy.
Time for you to spend some time with other guys; and find someone else for you to care about, and to care about you in a romantic way. You only feel this way now that all his time and attention isn't centered on you. Also the fact that you aren't dating.
You also have to show maturity, and not get in the way of his happiness. You wouldn't want him to do that to you.
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