A
female
age
30-35,
*arolinecooper
writes:Hello guys!My problem isn't about relationships or sex but about friendships.I've got a best friend called C. for 2 years.She's really amazing! But she's angry with me...I've got 2 other friends Ci. and Jo. and Jo. hates Ci.For 3 days,Ci. stayed with C. and I was so jealous coz' they ignored me!(Jo. was absent,ill).They were both talking and ignoring me...I was so angry,I left the place and I went to seen other new friends (I met these 6 girls when I went to London,they're in my Latin class).C. didn't want to talk to me coz' I was gone to see other friends...Now she thinks that I'm so crazy to be jealous of Ci.(I think she loves Ci. more than me).She wrote me a letter that she hasn't given me yet...I have to write a letter to her and we'll exchange our letters.I've got no inspiration...I need to write a letter which says "I don't want to lose you coz' I love you :)"We're 4; but in the group there are 2 people who hates each other (Jo. and Ci.) so it's difficult to talk when we're 4!!!What can I do for my BFF,I don't want to lose her!!!!Thanks
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best friend, I love you, jealous Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2008): Now I'm smiling. You did really good Caroline, your friends are really lucky that they've got you in their life. Take care.
A
female
reader, carolinecooper +, writes (20 May 2008):
carolinecooper is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hi!I saw my BFF today and I asked her to talk but she didn't want...At the end of the day,I asked her again and she said YES!I told her I was so sorry and I love her.We made peace :)She'll come Saturday at home with Cindy and I'll give her explanations for English.I'm so happy! Thanks for your advices,it works! Thanks to a girl from my Latin class,I'm now happy with my BFF!!!!Thanks again xoxoxoxo You're the best agony aunt ever!
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A
female
reader, carolinecooper +, writes (19 May 2008):
carolinecooper is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you!The things that you said touched me :)Tomorrow,I'll see her at school...When I'll come back home,I'll update my situation.Thanks again,xoxoxo Caroline
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008): There is no evidence to suggest that you are an egoist.
You have taken your time to write this post. Not only because of yourself, but because of the friendship of your foursome. You don't allow anyone to treat you badly (you went home when ignored) and you strive to be fair to everyone. Your a loyal and faithful friend, even though your friends ignore you and try to hurt your feelings, you still love, accept and try to support them as best as you can. (could they say the same thing)
You take your time to help people, your polite and have manners. (Thank you for taking the time to update me on your situation)
As I said before, you have shown a lot of patience and kindness in this difficult situation. You have behaved as an adult, even though people are trying to provoke you to anger. You refuse to take sides, you refuse to play games with people's feeling's. Your mother will be proud of you.
You have some very nasty friends. They are jealous of you and want to hurt you and make you cry. Please ignore their childish behaviour. You are bigger than that. You are growing into a responsible adult, but you hang out with kids. I suggest (if you can) that you find better friends. Otherwise, continue as you are going. Your doing great. I think you are a very nice person.
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A
female
reader, carolinecooper +, writes (19 May 2008):
carolinecooper is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much! Don't worry,that's not my real name ;)
By the way,I thought it calmed down but it doesn't!
Today,I went to school and she was so angry...
She said that I'm the most egoist girl! (I'm always there to help people and I'm teaching French to Americans online...!).
She sucks in English,so she needed help,I said I will always help her.I asked what she didn't know in English,she told me "everything"...What can I do?It's impossible to teach her English since the start!!! So I gave her an advice:finding the teacher and asking her some questions.(Today,my Biology teacher took an hour of his time to explain to me all the things I didn't understand).We were waiting the bus and I've spoken to her but she hasn't answered.I was so sad :(
She told me that Cindy helped her in English today.
Am I really egoist? She said "The only thing that matter for me was "ME""!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2008): Hi caroline,
First thing. I hope this is not your real name. You never ever give out your real details online. You don't know who might be watching baby. Stay anonymous online, you don't want anyone knowing who you are. You need to keep yourself safe whilst your using the internet.
Anyway back to the question. Friendships are very important, indeed they can be more important than romantic relationships and boyfriends. Your girlfriends are the one's who love and support you.
These girls are playing games, they all want to be "Miss Popular" and are trying to force you to make a decision on who you like best. This is not fair, they shouldn't be treating you like this. Ignore it, don't play along.
Jo and Ci don't like each other, fine. You like them both well enough for your friendship of 4 to survive. You don't have to say anything about it, don't get drawn into their game. You like everybody, they don't. It's not your problem, it's theirs. If you feel ignored then ask them right out "why are you ignoring me, what have I done." This will make them aware of how mean their being and they will change the way they act around you. You gotta be the adult, you like your friends and you refuse to choose between them. You don't like being ignored and you wont put up with it. Ignore their stupid games and find fun things that you can do together as a foursome.
If they really can't stand one another, one of them will leave and find other friends. They feel how they feel, and you feel how you feel. Don't get drawn into this, and everything should turn out alright.
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