A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I can't get over this situation and it drives me nuts, it's been about 3 years and this is the story.I've had this friend (let's call her X) and we'd known eachother since 4th grade. Inseperable for most of our friendship. In 11th grade I started dating this guy... one of those really good relationship beginnings, it was like i couldn't wait to even see him in the hall way or talk to him (the cheesy high school infactuation) when we started to get physical something changed. (Sidenote: When I was 14 I was taken advatage of by a much older man) Anyways, like I was saying when we started getting physical something in my boyfriends eyes remeinded me of this man from my passed and I fell into a horrible depression. "x" at the time was the only person EVER to know about this and she knew I was depressed for this reason. Here's where it all fell apart. WITHOUT my knowledge she calls up my boyfriend (whom she's only met twice) by looking up his phone number in the phone book and tells him what happened to me and that's why i've been so distant with him. 1) that's not her secret to tell and 2) i was going to tell him when I was ready for him to know. This was WAY to much for me to handle mentally because I was not ready for him to know something so personal so we broke up. Not even a week later "x" asked me if she could date him... I told her that it would crush me because the relationship was SO GOOD in the beginning. And not even 2 days later they were dating. She broke up with her current boyfriend at the time to date my ex whom she made my ex. She came to me crying one day because I wasn't talking to her. I told her that she got the guy but she lost the friend. She swore at me and that was the last thing we said to eachother.My delema here: X was my friend from grade for, no matter how much i want to hate her, i have unconditional love for her (on a friend level) and I miss her... Was I in the wrong on this situation or was she??? isn't it like an unwritten rule that you don't date your best friends ex?? Let alone break you up with there boyfriend to date them? I want my friend back but i still have so much anger towards her.Currently, they're not dating, and she lives in another city. There's way more little things to this story, but that's the major part. If anyone has any advice or can relate to this in any way, I'd be greatful to know that my feeling of anger arn't wrong.
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best friend, broke up, crush, depressed, my ex, older man Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionPopcycle, I'm a taurus meaning i'm stubborn and I don't like your answer WHICH MEANS you're probably right :) ha ha. Thanks for you advice. To be honest I could care less about where the guy is, I just want my friend back, I don't know how to appologize to her, if she's actually deserves an appology.
A
female
reader, Disturbed Princess  +, writes (8 May 2009):
 personally i think that you should talk to her about how it made u and explain to her that wat she has done was wrong n she deserved to lose a friend i mean we all make mistakes sometime or another without relising and maybe u told her but she didnt think it would hurt as much as it did.. n if u still like the guy why not have another shot at it i mean she aint there to distory it again right?
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2009): to put it quite simply, she shouldnt have done it. and after everything shes put you all through, she didnt end up with him in the end. was that worth it? all that pain? she knew what it would do to you, she knew full well. i think you'll be better off without her tbh.you dont need someone like that. she was selfish x
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