A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Complicated sitution, me and one of my best friends have recently admitted how we feel about each other. It wasn't done in the best of ways she was upset, i've been going through a tough time and i was just glad to be home to be with her again after going to see a relative. We were both pretty stressed and it just came out. She was wanting to know how i was and even though i said i was fine she doesn't believe me because about 2 years ago i did secretly cut myself and just told her they were scratches but i don't anymore and don't know why i ever did. So she was feeling pretty hopeless and down the fact she didn't see what they really were. Anyway the list goes on it just generally wasn't a good time and it just came out. I said i love her and she said but its not the same as i do for you, that went on, ended up in a 20minute discusion and then we ended up kissing and went back to hers. By the way when i say that i don't mean went back to hers to do anything i was just going there anyway as i stop there alot but mostly at weekends. Nothing more was said that night we were fine, we did lie there talking alot that night but this morning it just seemed so awkward and i don't know why. I'm not stopping tonight because she gone out but i am tomorrow it just seems so weird and awkward its as if i don't know what to say to her or what to do or anything. Its like when you first get a bf/gf that u've never met before but we've been friends for 12 year. Also she has never had a bf and i have never had a gf mainly because i only wanted her but shes always been quite afraid when it comes to lads and stuff. She seems abit scared of what could happen and knowing what does eventually go off in relationships such as sex etc, but that won't be for ages yet and until shes ready. Shes always been afraid of telling me her feelings to and also shes always been afraid of lads n general not in a scared way she just feels insecure around them becasue she seems afriad of getting a bf because stuff changes. The only two lads she seems really comfortable with are me and luke another one of my best mates. I just really don't know here. I don't know what to do to rlax her or anything or why it feels so weird and how we're gonna over come this. I'm just a very very very confused lad.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Dr. John  +, writes (24 November 2007):
 You are already over the hard part.
You have already told each other how you feel.
Now, just be there for her. When she has a problem, just be there to listen. Don't try to fix it for her but be there to just listen.
Tenderly hold her hand and make her feel safe.
Doing those kinds of things will make the two of you grow together.
If you place her first in your life and make her feel that she is indeed in that position she will love you for it. Doc
A
female
reader, bybolina  +, writes (24 November 2007):
Well...First of all, if you have feelings about this girl, I didnt read how old you were, but if you are reasonable enough with yourself,you could answer the only question if you want to be with that girl. You have known her for a long time, she's known you too, that is why she trusts you and feels good in your company. Of course it is difficult when you finally kiss or make love to your best friend, because then feelings change completely. Then the friendship becomes a relationship, if both sides are interested. As I understand, for both of you it is going to be the first time, well...i suggest that you wait a little bit with that sex stuff. First try to calm her down, make her feel good, just..even if it seems to you weird to accept her as your girlfriend, close your eyes for a moment and as you open them after that, try to imagine her as a girl that you hardly know,a girl that is interesting and attractive. If you feel the wish from inside to give a try, then follow it. Otherwise...stop the things on that position before it is too late.
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