A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi all, I could do with some advice. I'm 20 this year and in my country, it is legal to get a tattoo at this age. I've been meaning to get another tattoo next year. But my bf does not seem keen on me getting another tattoo. I am not a rash person and for my first tattoo, I thought about it for at least a year before getting it. As for my tattoos, I would never get them at somewhere obvious (I would only get them on my back, where its concealable) because the field I would like to work in would require tattoos to not be visible. In addition, my tattoos are for personal appreciation. They are not gang related. And I go to this reputable tattoo parlor with an artist I trust. But now it boils down to the question of respecting my bf's wishes of not getting a tattoo vs its-my-body. I'm feeling lost here. Please help!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (29 December 2013):
 I have three tattoos that all mean things to me.
Most folks don't even know I have them as they are all covered under business clothing (thankfully I don't have to cover them for work)
My husband has no tatts. He wants none on him and could care less if I have the ones I have. MY FATHER is horrified that I have them as they are against our religion in a massive way. I do not have my tatts to please my husband, my children or my daddy. MY TATTS are for me!
YOURS are for you and if your boyfriend merely tolerates them then that's his choice. Personally for me it would be my choice to let him know that I'm doing it... and if he does not like it he has two choices
a. keep his mouth shut about it or
b. NOT be my boyfriend.
sad to think that he would end a good relationship based on your choice, but sometimes that's what happens.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (29 December 2013):
 I don't know how you can get much personal appreciation from something you can't even see. I suppose one could make the same argument about a new haircut or make up, but you'd see those every time you used the washroom. How often are you going to lift your shirt and twist around in a public toilet so you can see your back?
Some people have the right skin tone, physique and personality type to pull off a good tattoo, but on most people (especially women) I find them to be cheap and dirty looking. And jumping on the latest trend is hardly the way to show your uniqueness. So I can appreciate where your boyfriend is coming from.
However, as you say it is your body and ultimately your decision.
My thinking is, though, that if the only person who can see it is the person who doesn't like it, then what is the point? Maybe save it for when you and he are no longer together.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2013): My ex had two tatoos and he kept talking about another.
I personally dislike tatoos and find them distasteful - but each to their own. Suffice to say, when my ex started drawing what his third tattoo I realised this relationship had an imminent end date. I realised I wouldn't be comfortable presenting him as my boyfriend to my friends and family.
It wasn't just the tatoo I disliked but the 'style' associated with it that puts me off.
Eventually we broke up because of other differences but the tatoos were one indicator that we did not see life through the same lens.
My advice?
Do what makes you happy. If he's not happy then he's not the one for you.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (28 December 2013):
 It also boils down to your boyfriend respecting YOUR wishes. Your body is your body, and your BF doesn't own you. He is free to state his opinion, but in the end, it's your choice, and ONLY your choice. Maybe he's not the guy for you if he would base your entire relationship on a tattoo. It's not like you're getting an ex's name (or some other guy you are in love with) on you, and you're smart enough to not do something like that because boyfriends come and go.
You make the choice that suits YOU. Your body, your choice, your way. It's one thing to not prefer that you do it, but if he acts out because you want to go through with it or pitch a fuss, then he's not for you. Best to find out sooner rather than later (especially after you get married) that he's controlling. What's next, not letting you wear your hair the way you want or telling you how to dress? What about the friends you have to whether or not your mom calls you at what times? It's a slippery slope.
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