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anonymous
writes: My 17 year old son hates me! All because me and his Dad decided to get him away from a bad crowd of kids, he was doing drugs with, in our home city, here. His Dad and I are divorced but always remained friendly and both are pro-active parents. So this joint decision had to be made quickly, before our son, hit rock bottom. He had quit school and he went to live with his Dad where he is now, and he's back in school but hating it as he misses his friends, here.He blames me for everything! He wrote me a note on Facebook and said the following:"I know I have done alot of things to make you distrust me, but how many times have I told you I quit drugs, but you couldn't even give me a chance. So you sent me to be alone.. do you know how hard that is, being skizo and alone for periods of time, you go crazy, I talk to myself, I talk to objects sometimes. The last week in (name of town), not a day went by that I didnt think it would be easier just to end myself."The point is, he says he has quit drugs, but unless we do drug tests, we can't be sure. He refuses to let us do these tests. Says we should take his word that he has quit the dope. He used to go to Raves and popped pills a lot. He has been arrested for smoking pot, and drinking while driving his car. I am at a loss here. And I am worried about him. His older brother says he's trying to manipulate me. And That I need to be strong. Any thoughts?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2009): haha, no problem, just i know how that is, and it is really hard. I didnt try to, but i did think about suicide a few times, its so hard to start over when everyone already has there friends, when your little its like, no one has any friends except there parents, so everyone is friends and then you grow and have your personal friends... then its just so hard to find anyone after that. I dont mean to but in, but i really honestly truely think you should just let him move back... but make it a comprimise, you can move back as long as i can test you weekly, or daily, or you can move back as long as __________. ya know, whatever... i know its hard, but just think its proabaly 10x's worse for him as it is for you. I hope you are ok and everything works out.... i am sorry to hear your in such a tight budget, but maybe he did learn his lession, and maybe he is over drugs. Just make sure its known that the first mess up he is going back, and he will be careful, i am almost positive. xoxokeep me posted!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOh my goodness, anon female poster. You hit the nail on the head. My son just wrote me another message stating'
"I want you to try and trust me for once, cause I'm not lying to you, but understand that I need to see my friends, I'll go for weekly drug tests if thats what it takes."
This could be a positive start to compromising and starting to trust him again. Thank you for your sound advice.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2009): My sister is the same way. She did quit drugs as she had said, and for a while refused to do the tests and then finally my mom said if you dont do a test then you are being shipped to Erda Utah. That made her definantly take a test and she was clean, every surprise test we gave her she was clean, and my mom felt horrible for not trusting her... Now your son is 17, and sounds like he has had a rough 17 years, (not jugding!!) but i have had to when i was 15, and starting over, no friends it is really hard! you feel alone all the time, and there were points when i would be so depressed from just being so alone i would hid in room for days, and its not that i was anarexic but i would just forget to eat, i woudlnt be hungry i wouldnt go to the bathroom, i just forgot... i understand where you are comming from, because i was like that when my sister did drugs, and i understand where he is comming from because it is really hard to move. I think you should make a comprimise. Let him move back, but you get to drug test him daily, until you trust him again, or somthing like that, that makes you happy, and him happy ya know?because the last thing you want, is for him to "just to end myself." this is a really tough position you are in, and best of luck! xoxoxokeep us posted.
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