A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi there,I just recently broke up with my girlfriend, it was a sour end and she had just been with someone else. It was each of ours first relationship and first person to have been with. We had been going out for 2 years, but fought alot near the end over being able to see each other among other things.Anyways, I have a friend in college who has also recently broken up with her boyfriend, althogh shes finding it very hard, they had been goin out for 5 years and then he decided he didnt want to be with her anymore.He came down a few times to her appartment since, just for sex and everytime he feels terrible. Yesterday she was acting very depressed and she fell out with her house mate who is one of her best friends. I decided to stay the night there. She went to bed and I went up to try talk to her, i told her that she deserves better and that his being an asshole to her, but after a few mins of chattin she turned away and i just got up and left the room.Later on in the night while i was downstairs with another roomate of hers, we heard the door open, and believe it or not it was her ex, she had contacted him to come down. Anyways the night progressed and she came downstairs once and she seemed to have become a lil cheered up, which annoyed me because it wasnt going to last.Eventually I went to go to bed in the spare room, heard a knock on my door and it was the girl. She just asked if she could come in for a bit. She sat on the bed and just said "he is an asshole". She started to cry and I held her and consoled her as best I could. I asked if anything happened again and she said yeah and that he was asleep now, so basically he came down for sex again. She stayed in the room for a few mins, I told her things like, she deserves better, dont waste your love on someone who wont return it and that maybe she shud change her phone number because the reason she was depressed was because he had txt her sayin he missed her but that was just lies.I was close to telling her that I really liked her but I knew it wasnt the time for that.I offered to let her stay in the spare room and that I'd sleep downstairs but she declined she just said that this will be the last night. She uttered something but I cudnt make it out properly, but it was something along the lines of it'd be easier if it was someone like you.The next morning, me, her and 2 other girls were chattin in the kitchen just messing about, I left for a min, and when I came back in she was standing in the hall, just wanting a hug, we've been huggin alot lately(prob nothing)...I asked if shed be ok over the weekend, and she said work will keep her busy. So after one of the longest hugs in history we went back into the kitchen and she said shes changing her number on monday, which was good to hear, so now he cant contact her and upset her. I also changed my number a few days ago.So, I've started to develop deeper feelings for this girl, and very much like her, I dont think she has any idea yet. I told 2 of my friends who are also in our lil group but would be close to me cause we're in the same class in college. They think we'd be good together, and one of them is good friends with the girls best friend and her best friend and my friend both agreed that we'd be great together.I dont know what to do, I dont want to go out one drunked night and just be with each other and I also dont want her to think im only being there for her cause I want somthing else, I'm doing it cause I really do care about her. And I know its stupid so soon and I need to get a few more oppinions on this about what I should do!I'm just approaching 21 and she is 21.She is asking me to come over tomorrow and watch tv with her and her housemate.|| D ||"
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best friend, broke up, depressed, drunk, her ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2008): This girl sounds like she is just using you for attention and affection because the guy she really likes just wants to have a casual relationship with her.
Don't be naive and don't let her use you. You both need to get completely over the people you were first with before you can even consider the possibility of being together.
Tell her that you like her and would like to pursue a relationship with her if and when she is over this other guy.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2008): Thats really cool that you are being supportive of her.. she needed to have someone tell her the truth about her ex. I know it will be hard not to put a move on her, but for now, I think this girl needs to have a really cool guy mate like you to hang out with, so she can see for herself that you really do care about her, and that you are an awesum guy, which if she doesn't already see in you at the moment, she will when the time is right. If you are worried about getting drunk, then don't get drunk with her, and that way you will avoid any horrible situations, and if you are head over heels than do something completley romantic like a walk or picnic instead. So for this moment, go and have fun with her and her girlfriend :)
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