A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,My boyfriend needs some money for an internet connection, while he is overseas. He tell's me, that since we are in a relationship, that we should be there for each other. Yes, I understand that... but he thinks being there for each other means, I should give him the money, I told him I don't have the money to give... but if I did have it, I would help him. So, he says that then I should find a way to get the money and when I tell I don't have a way to get it he says I must not want to be there for him in his time of need. So, I must not want to build a relationship with him, but I do... for I love him very deeply. But I can't get him to understand.... sometimes being there for each, is for support and not that I can solve everything and that sometime we can't do anything to help each other. So, what should I tell him and am I right about this? Or does being there for each other mean something else? faye216
View related questions:
money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (6 January 2009):
 Here's a website that might be able to help you determine if you are the victim of a scammer: http://www.scamwarners.com/
Please stay safe!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009): Hi... you need to google "Nigerian love scams". You will find whole websites dedicated to women and men who have been victims to this particular scam. Dr. Phil did a show about it as well. There was also something about it on Dateline as well. Women have been scammed out of their life savings as they are sending their money to someone who doesn't exist.I'm sorry to be the one to break it you, but your guy does not own his own business. Whatever photo he sent you, its not his. He more than likely stole it off of a website somewhere. And once you send him a dime, he is going to push you to spend more and more money, either cashing fake money orders, or "Something happened to my business bank account, could you send me $XXXXX so I can cover payroll? I'll pay you back when I love back to the U.S. and we'll be happily ever after?" And so on until he drains you dry.The person you are talking to is a scam artist who lives in Nigerian and his "job" is to seperate you and as many other women from your money. They work in Internet cafes and literally do this all day. I say "person" because there is every chance this could be a woman and if you spoke to "him" on the phone, she might use her brother or some male friend to make the call.Not only should you NOT send this guy a dime, you should block his email address as well. Seriously, google Nigerian love scams or romance samcs. Or visit http://www.internet-love-scams.org... go the forums, read stories from other people.
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (6 January 2009):
 Good call catwoman! I forgot about the Nigeria scam.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009): If you met this guy on the internet 20 days ago and he is working in Nigeria, he is an internet scammer and not your boyfriend. You dont know this guy, never seen him have you. It is a real problem that people from Nigeria are scaming people out of their money over the internet. What he is doing is testing you out....if you give him $238 he needs, then he knows he can keep asking you for larger and larger amounts and he will start wanting you to deposit money in your bank account, he will send you a repayment and he will do this over and over again. In the banking industry this is called money laundering....it is often done by terroist groups to hide the money that they are taking in illegally as it never touches their own bank accounts directly, it is a way to take illegal funds and not have it tied directly to them.
I am sorry you were so naive and taken in by this guy, are you sure you are in your 50's?
Dont meet boyfriends on the internet, go to church or get involved in your community and meet a local man, that way you can check him out to see what kind of person he is.
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (6 January 2009):
20 Days??? Yikes! Don't give the guy a cent!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank for anwsering my question. You wanted to know how I met him, we met on the internet though a dating service.He own his own business, his a engineer, he has a job to do in Nigeria, Africa..so he needs a air card for his internet service wish is 238.00 he says he didn't take enough money with him and he has work on his computer, that concerns his career,that he needs to get done.I feel like he is blaming me, because I can't get the money for him. he says I misunderstood him...I don't think so.I hope this hope to explain things....we have known each other for 20 days.
Thank's to all who has anwsered my question.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (6 January 2009):
I think he's manipulating you, actually. He's using childish logic to press home a point. Frankly, it's not worth arguing about. You're not going to give him money for an internet connection. If he is so financially strapped that he cannot afford his own, then he has bigger problems and needs to be working on those. I'd let him go handle things on his own, and simply stop discussing the point with him.
"Being there" for someone means only what you two have agreed it means. And you're not agreeing, so the default setting is he pays for his own needs, you pay for your own. Simple.
How did you two meet? Do you live in the same town? Is he by chance deployed in the military? Why is he overseas? If he can afford a plane ticket, he can afford internet access. Why is this the sticking point for him? It doesn't make sense.
Look, there are internet cafes all over the place. I don't know where he is, but if I were you, I would be very watchful for emotional blackmail on his part.
Take care.
...............................
|
