A
female
age
41-50,
*ilboo
writes:Ok I need some advice because I'm going crazyI met a guy online and after chatting for a few weeks we met up for a few drinks! We had a lovely evening, a kiss on the cheek and a hug and went separate ways.Following morning he was passing through my area and stopped by for a Cuppa and a chat. Kiss on the cheek and a hug and left.His texting died down a little bit but after 2 weeks we went out, had an amazing time, he certainly wasn't shy with public displays of affection and we had our 1st kiss. He did come back to mine and although we didn't have full intercourse, things did get quite steamy. He stayed over and left early. He was busy for the weekend and I knew this but only once did he text me in reply to a text I sent him. He was very quiet and I did then get a text late one night tellingly what he'd been up to and asking if I'd enjoyed my weekend! As I was half asleep I waiting to reply till the next morning. I told him what I'd been up to. I didn't hear anything for the rest of the day. I thought I'd let him know I had been thinking about him so I text sayi g I'd been thinking about him and what had happened. It's the following day and I've not had anything to that either! I do really like him and am trying my best to not jump the gun and ask him what's going on but it's very difficult! Any advice is welcome hereThank you in advance x
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female
reader, Lilboo +, writes (29 April 2012):
Lilboo is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI checked in a few days later just asking if everything was ok! He said he was busy with work but would call - he didn't.After that I decided to just leave well alone.Over a week later I got a text to say he didn't want me thinking he was an idiot or had anything to hide! Followed by telling me the night out was the best in a very long time! I did tell him I was a little Hurt by the fact we'd had such a great time and then there was virtually no contact. He apologised again and said he does like me and definitely wants to see me....again and again exact words! I said that would be nice and the conversation was left there. Given he'd taken the time to apologise and let me know he does wish to continue seeing me, I thought I'd make the effort the following day and ask what his plans for the weekend were. He told me his plans but that other than what he'd planned he was free! I said I wasnt doing a right lot but didn't hear anything back. After an hour or 2 I realised I hadn't actually said I was child free so let him know this and asked if he wanted to meet up. Was a few hours later and he got in touch to say he'd made other plans. I've decided not to get too het up with his obvious inability to text or call! I know he's a very busy person business wise and socially. He plays a lot of sport. Still a little confused but feeling a bit better with the fact he approached me after a week of silence as above
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2012): I would give this guy the benefit of the doubt for now, after all if he was just after sex, wouldn't he want to speed things up after the two of you 'got steamy', rather than slowing down? To me it seems like he's laid back and fine with taking things slowly (after all you two didn't even kiss until your third meeting).On the other hand you definitely don't deserve to be left hanging. If I were in your position I would give it another day and if I hadn't heard from him by then, send another follow-up text asking if he's interested in seeing you again. I think that after two unanswered texts you need to be a bit more forward or you'll just drive yourself crazy with curiosity.I see that you're cautious about players and so I'm guessing you're not after casual sex with this guy, so I'd suggest you continue taking things slowly in this regard at least until things between you become more consistent. If he is trying to play you, he'll soon get bored and move on. If so it's his loss!Good luck! xo
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A
female
reader, Lilboo +, writes (17 April 2012):
Lilboo is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThis was me earlier
A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2012):
Sorry I'm unable to log in at the minute. It's been weekends when we've spent time together! 1st time a sat eve and then saw him again the following morning. Last time was a fri eve from late afternoon and in a very public place and he was really affectionate and didn't seem to care everyone could see!
I've been played before so am cautious! I am kind of hoping he's just being a little laid back and maybe even cautious like I am being but I also feel I might come across as clingy or pushy if I ask what's going on!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2012): Sorry I'm unable to log in at the minute. It's been weekends when we've spent time together! 1st time a sat eve and then saw him again the following morning. Last time was a fri eve from late afternoon and in a very public place and he was really affectionate and didn't seem to care everyone could see!
I've been played before so am cautious! I am kind of hoping he's just being a little laid back and maybe even cautious like I am being but I also feel I might come across as clingy or pushy if I ask what's going on!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2012): I think your one of many and he is only after sex, could be wrong but hes busy weekends and cooling off the texts . Its one of the pitfalls of online dating . Dont contact him wait for him to initiate
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